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My Good Friend

2018-02-01姜经志

中学生英语·阅读与写作 2017年9期
关键词:优点序号记叙文

姜经志

【栏目要求】

1. 将学生习作根据中考分值给出成绩; 2. 在应该修改的地方划线并标注序号;

3. 根据所标序号进行修改并说明修改的理由; 4. 给学生习作点评<优点与不足>;

5. 请点评名师提供简历一份,包括:学校、职务、 职称、荣誉、教研教学成果、照片一张。

投稿邮箱: zxsyy2007@163.com或whzxsyy@163.com

来稿请寄: 430079 华中师范大学外国语学院《中学生英语》 杂志社 收

Li Ying is my classmate and she is also my good friend. She is fifteen years old this year, but she looks a little younger for her age. Though she isnt very tall, and her eyes, nose and mouth are very small, but① I think she looks very beautiful.

Li Ying studies very hard. She often asks and answers questions in class. She likes every subject, so she does well at② all her lessons, especially English and math. She often helps others on③ their lessons. I think thats why everyone likes her.

She is a very outgoing girl. She is always smiling and often makes us laughing④, so we all like to play with her. She is confident. She believes she can do everything well.

Now Li Ying has gone to another school. All of us feel very sad, but we wish her the best. We all believe that her dream will come true.

安徽省濉溪縣百善中心学校七(3)班 赵琪

1. 优点:

本文是一篇成功的写人的记叙文。小作者向我们展示了一个乐观、爱学习、爱帮助人的好女孩的生动形象。

2. 需要修改的地方:

①删去but。英语中,表示“虽然……但是……”时,用了though,就不能再用but。

②does well at应改为does well in。表示“在……方面做得好”,应用do well in。

③on应改为with。help sb. with sth.是习惯搭配,意为“帮助某人做某事”。

④laughing应改为laugh。make 作“使;让”时,后面应接不带to的动词不定式作宾语补足语。

3. 评分:

按中考英语作文满分25分的标准,本文修改前可得22分。endprint

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