如何写出具有个性的雅思作文——开头段

文/唐老雅

如何写出具有个性的雅思作文
——开头段

文/唐老雅1

老雅认为，6分雅思作文的核心在于逻辑通顺，句子错误不多，而7分及以上不仅要语法正确，逻辑通顺，而且要写出一定的个性。那么，什么是个性？那就是你能写其他多数烤鸭写不出来的内容。如果有一句精彩的语言，你能写出来，其他很多考生也能写出来，那这句话就没有个性，这样的作文就难以拿到7分以上的高分。很多同学没有意识到这一点，过于依靠模板，结果自以为写得不错，最后得分却很不理想。实现个性化写作的方法很多，今天老雅先分享如何给雅思作文一个具有个性的开头段。

一般说来，雅思的开头段由三个要素构成：话题引入，重述题目观点，提出自己的观点。当然，根据不同题目要求或烤鸭的全文结构安排，在首段也可以不直接提出自己的观点，而是留到结论段。据此，很多老师为备考雅思的同学准备了模板套餐，包括引入话题的模板，比如“with the development of...”“nowadays there is a heated topic about...”等；重述题目观点的模板，比如“when it comes to...，many people believe...”“when asked about...，different people have different views...”，等等。这些模板有一个优势，那就是能让考生快速进入写作流程，不至于纠缠在开头耽误过多时间。但其问题也是明显的：陈词滥调，千篇一律，给“见多识广”考官的第一印象通常比较差。因此，老雅的观点是：对于写作目标在6分的烤鸭来说，正确使用这些开头段模板是有帮助的，但对于写作目标在7分或以上的烤鸭来说，则需要在这些模板基础上更进一步，体现出自己的写作个性来。

要在雅思作文开头段写出个性，需要掌握两个技巧：（1）引入话题时尽量对话题进行简要描写，融入个人化知识或经历，而不是简单提出话题；（2）重述题目观点时要用自己的语言对其用词和句型进行改造，不可简单重复。以下老雅通过具体例证，来分析如何在写作中实现开头段的个性化。

例1：举著名的影视或文学作品引出话题

Some people believe there are intelligent life forms existing on other planets and it is better to send messages to them, but others think it is a bad idea because it is very dangerous to do this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

学生习作

Nowadays, there is a heated topic about whether we should send messages to intelligent life on other plants. Some people believe that we should do that, but others suspect it is a bad idea.

老雅范文

Our imagination about beings on other planets has never stopped and reached its climax in such movie series like “Star Wars” and “Star Trek” in 1960s and 1970s. If other life forms do exist, an idea I strongly support, should we, as human beings on the Earth, try to reach out and communicate with them?

本题需要描写外星生命这个现象。学生开头段直截了当，首句提出问题，次句重述题目观点。这个开头段中规中矩，有模板痕迹，对原题的改造也显不够，缺乏个性，属于6分作文的开头段。与此相对照，老雅范文首句通过描述我们对外星人的想象而引出话题，并引用《星球大战》这样具体个性化的系列电影，然后提出是否应该与外星人联系这个问题，并把原文的send messages to them改造成为reach out and communicate with them。这个开头段就是高分节奏了。

例2：以叙述的方式引出话题

Some people think they have right to use as much fresh water as they want, but others believe government should control the use of fresh water as it is limited resource. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

学生习作

When it comes to the issue about the use of fresh water, some people argue that they are entitled to consume fresh water without limitation, but others believe that the use of fresh water should be controlled by governments strictly.

老雅范文

We all, humans and non-humans alike, need fresh water for our survival.The issue is that a lot of people always try to make a case for their wasteful use of fresh water, arguing that they have money, and more importantly right to buy and use as much fresh water as they want. Their constant rhetoric is something like, “So what? Don’t worry, for we have enough fresh water!”

本题需要描写人们对淡水使用的态度。学生习作使用了when it comes to the issue about/that...这个万能句型引入话题，随后对题目表达进行了适当改造（比如原文的they have right to use...被改为了they are entitled to consume...），因此，也可算比较成功的开头。但老雅范文无疑更具个性，而且不露痕迹地提出了人们浪费淡水的理由，即淡水足够多，用不尽。很自然地，接下去作文就该从不同方面论证淡水资源并非永不枯竭。以叙述的方式提出错误观点，然后进行批驳，比生硬地提出这些观点，更显生动性。当然，在这个地方，烤鸭需要具备较强的语言控制力，要尽量在一两句之间叙述出问题的核心所在，而不能用过长的篇幅，因为这毕竟只是作文的开头段。

例3：用数据引出话题

More and more people buy and use their own car. Do you think the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh its disadvantages for environment?

老雅范文

Just 50 years ago, to own a car was quite a luxury, but today, cars have found their way into many households. Statistics show in China alone, there are over 140 million cars running on road every day. While cars have brought about conveniences to their users, they have imposed great pressure on the environment.

本题需要描写的现象是越来越多的人拥有汽车。如果仅仅提出话题，势必就是Nowadays, an increasingly large number of people own their cars这样的句子。老雅范文则另辟蹊径，通过比较和引用数据来描写“越来越多的人拥有汽车”这个现象，随后提出这个现象既给使用者带来方便，但同时也给环境造成了巨大压力。引用具体数据来描写现象，比枯燥的模板更具个性。

例4：用个人经历引出话题

City dwellers seldom socialize with their neighbors today and the sense of community has been lost. Why has this happened and how to solve this problem?

学生习作

In the current era, there is a phenomenon that urban residents are not eager to communicate with their neighbors and they do not have a sense of community.This essay may examine the possible reasons and potential solutions to reversing this tendency.

老雅范文

Now we have numerous newspaper reports about a child being robbed without anybody offering to help him or a ninety-year-old poor woman dead at home for days without anybody knowing it. All these reports point to one key problem that face dwellers in cities, especially big cities: they seldom interact with their neighbors, much less to say they care about their neighbors and they feel lonely because they do not feel they belong to any community.

本题需要描写人们互不交往这一社会现象。学生习作直接提出这个现象，然后指出下文要讨论其原因及解决办法。老雅范文则通过引用报纸相关报道，用具体事例/个人经历来说明现象，让作文的开头顿时具有活力和个性。但老雅仍然要提醒烤鸭，此方法需要语言控制力，应避免将叙述变得过于零碎和漫长。

例5：通过把题目中的关键词具体化来引入话题

People believe that using mobile phones and computers to communicate makes us lose the ability to communicate with each other face to face. To whatextent do you agree or disagree?

学生习作

When it comes to the issue about the influence brought by the pervasive use of technologies, some people argue that devices like mobile phones and computers do not damage the ability to communicate face to face, but I cannot agree with this solution.

老雅范文

We live in a world where communication through modern technology such as smart phone and computer is so prevalent that it’s hard to go anywhere without seeing someone texting, emailing, writing blogs or tweeting. Of course the use of technology can be good. It provides us with faster, more efficient ways to communicate with others, but it can also harm our ability to communicate with people face to face.

本题需要描写人们越来越多地使用手机和电脑来交流这一现象。学生习作用“when it comes to the issue...”这个句型提出话题，随后重述题目观点，虽然直截了当，但也使作文失去个性。老雅范文则用texting、emailing、blogging、tweeting等电子交流的具体方式来引出话题，使文章显得更加具体丰富，具有个性化，而不是那么干巴巴的了。

以上老雅通过具体例子归纳了一些让雅思写作开头段具有个性化的办法。在模板和个性之间，烤鸭应该根据自己的实际语言表达能力来选择：若语言水平不足，应慎重使用个性开头法，以免东施效颦；若语言水平足够，却受制于模板，则就是资源的极大浪费了。 □

1 唐伟胜，广东外语外贸大学教授，博士，英美文学研究专家。

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