夕暮
2017-11-14郭沫若
注释:《夕暮》是郭沫若的早期作品,充满诗情画意,堪称一篇玲珑剔透的美文。文章记述的是真情真事,字里行间流露出热爱生活的情感。
①“我携着”译为 accompanied by myself,其中 myself 比 me 更确切,不但读来顺口,且能加强语气,突出“亲自”的含义。
②“海上的天壁”指“海边的上空”,不宜直译,现以加字法处理:the sky above the distant edge of the sea。
③“鲜红的云”译为 the scarlet clouds。颜色词 scarlet 在此比 red 更确切,因 scarlet 的意思是 very bright red,与原文“鲜红”一致。
④“曳着悠长的鸣声”中的“曳”作“拖”或“拉”解,结合上下文译为 let out,意为“发出”,为英语常用短语。又“鸣声”译为 moo,为英语拟声词,指牛的叫声,相当于汉语的“哞”。
⑤“我们的两只母鸡和几只鸡雏”译为 Our two mother hens and their baby chicks,其中 mother和 baby 是为加强译文效果而添加的定语,前者作“母”解,后者作“幼小”解。
⑥“母鸡们咯咯地叫起来了”译为 At the clucking of the hens,其中介词 At 表示时间,即先后两个动作相继发生,或后面一个动作是前面一个动作的反应。在此指母鸡一叫,小鸡立即争食。
⑦“今年的成绩真好呢,竟养大了十只”译为“Weve done quite well this year, with ten chicks growing fast,”beamed my wife,其中 beamed my wife(妻微笑地或欣喜地说)是添加成分,原文虽无其词却有其意。
While my three kids accompanied by myself, were frolicking about on the meadow behind my house, the sky above the distant edge of the sea was aglow with the setting sun and the crescent new moon was already peeping out from behind the scarlet clouds.
A few cows grazing on the pasture let out a long drawn-out moo now and then as if urging their master to lead them home as quickly as possible.
Our two mother hens and their baby chicks were scurrying homeward one after another from the grave yard of the nearby monastery.
The kids mother, standing by the kitchen door, sprinkled a handful of rice onto the sandy ground in the open.
At the clucking of the hens, the chicks scrambled for the feed, chirping.
—“We‘ve done quite well this year, with ten chicks growing fast,” beamed my wife.
The joyous sound wave drifted through the golden evening mist.
我攜着①三个孩子在屋后草场中嬉戏着的时候,夕阳正烧着海上的天壁②,眉痕的新月已经出现在鲜红的云③缝里了。
草场中放牧着的几条黄牛,不时曳着悠长的鸣声④,好像在叫它们的主人快来牵它们回去。
我们的两只母鸡和几只鸡雏⑤,先先后后地从邻寺的墓地里跑回来了。
立在厨房门内的孩子们的母亲向门外的沙地上撒了一握米粒出来。
母鸡们咯咯咯地叫了起来了⑥,鸡雏们也啁啁地争食起来了。
——“今年的成绩真好呢,竟养大了十只⑦。” 妻微笑地说。
欢愉的音波,在金色的暮霭中游泳。endprint