致远方的你

By+Marisa+Donnelly+译/李忱

Theres a picture of us sitting on my dresser. Youre laughing， your head thrown back， hair flying wild in the wind. Im standing next to you， my arm slung across your shoulder， smiling at the camera， an oversized pair of sunglasses hiding my entire face. In that picture， everything was easy. We didnt have dreams pulling us in different directions. We didnt have love telling us to stay， to go. We were rooted to the same town， the same school. We didnt yet understand the luxury of lazy summer afternoons eating snacks and watching the sunset， our legs kicked up in lawn chairs. We didnt know how hard it could be to be so far apart.

I havent told you this， but every time I look at that photo， my chest aches.

I miss how it used to be—when I could just walk across the living room and be at your bedroom door， when I could run across the street and sit on your porch， when you could pick me up across town to grab coffee， or we could easily meet up and spend all night walking around the mall， talking about boys.

I miss the nights wed stay up way too late telling secrets， eating ice cream straight from the carton1）， watching some stupid Netflix2） show but talking through every good part and having to rewind it back.

Sometimes it feels like youre half a world away from me.

And honestly， Id do anything to have you here， right now， laughing at my stupid jokes， showing you the text messages from my crush， sipping beers on my front patio3）， watching the seagulls dance across the sunny sky.

There are miles between us. Airplane rides. Road trips. Hours on a bus. Gas and tickets and wheels on a highway keeping you from easily walking through my front door. There are commitments and schedules. There are work trips and family vacations and day-to-day obligations that remind us our lives are rooted in different places now.

And sometimes it breaks my heart that when you call me crying， I can only reassure you through the phone. That when I need your shoulder， all I can have is a voicemail. That when what we really need is a big best friend hug， well have to settle for4） handwritten cards and long text messages that almost do the job.

I hate that we dont live within walking distance， that we cant so easily fall into one anothers arms. I hate that we live in different places and have to settle for a more distant kind of love.

I hate that I cant see you every day， but no matter the miles and days and hours that separate us， you are never far from me.endprint

You are on my mind when I take my first bite of pizza and think of how we used to get a large and shamelessly eat every bite. Youre on my mind when I run down the path by my house and remember how we used to be workout partners， sharing stories between each set. Youre on my mind when Im drunk and wish you were sitting next to me， belting out5） “Sweet Caroline” at the top of our lungs6） and laughing at the bubbly feeling in our chests. Youre on my mind when it thunderstorms， and I wish you were cuddling next to me like you used to， comforting me until I fell asleep.

Youre on my mind more than you know， and every time I think of you， Im reminded how lucky I am. And how wonderful it is to have someone who， no matter the distance， no matter the time apart， no matter how far we are physically from one another， will never stop being my best friend.

I love you. And that means more than the miles between us. That means more than the months that have passed between the last time we hugged， or laughed， or cried in one anothers arms. That means more than how far or how long.

Because friendship is not dependent upon distance.

And even if I dont see you every day， I promise that wont change a thing.

我的梳妆台上摆放着一张我俩的照片。照片中的你笑着，仰着脸，头发被风吹得凌乱。我站在你旁边，胳膊搭着你的肩膀，冲镜头微笑，整张脸都藏在一副超大号太阳镜的后面。那张照片中，一切都那么轻松。那时，我们没有让彼此分道扬镳的梦想，也没有告诉我们去留的爱人。我们扎根于同一个小镇，同一所学校。我们那时还不知道，在慵懒的夏日午后，跷着腿坐在草坪躺椅上，吃着零食，看着日落，是一件多么奢侈的事情。我们那时也不知道，相隔甚远的日子竟会如此艰难。

虽然我没有告诉过你，但每次看到那张照片，我都会觉得心痛。

我想念过去：那时，我走过客厅就能到你卧室门前，跑过大街就能坐在你家门廊上；那时，你会接上我，穿过小镇去喝杯咖啡；或者，我们很容易就可以见面，一整晚沿着商业街散步，聊男生的八卦。

我想念那些不眠之夜，我们说着彼此的秘密，抱着盒子吃冰淇淋，看Netflix上无聊的视频，可是每到精彩的部分我们都在聊天，于是不得不倒回去再看一遍。

我有时觉得，你好像在世界的另一头。

让我干什么都可以，真的，只要现在你能出现在我面前，嘲笑我讲的无聊笑话，看我热恋的对象发来的短信，一起在我家的前院里小口抿着啤酒，看海鸥在晴朗的天空中飞舞。

我们之间相隔万里，需要乘飞机、汽车或数小时的巴士才能相见。汽油、机票以及在公路上疾驰——这些使你无法再轻易来到我家的前门。我们都身担职责，都有行程计划。出差、家庭假期和日常义务都让我们想起如今我们的生活扎根在不同的地方。

有时，你哭着打电话给我，我却只能在电话里安慰你；有时，我需要你的肩膀，却只能收到语音留言；有时，我们真正需要的是密友间一个大大的拥抱，却不得不勉强接受用手写卡片和长长的短信来代替拥抱。每每此时，我都会感到心碎。

我讨厌我们不能住在步行就能見到彼此的地方，讨厌我们不能随时投入对方的怀抱。我讨厌我们异地而居，只能把爱寄托得更加遥远。

我讨厌不能日日与你相见。但无论距离与时间将你我分隔多远，在我心中，你从未远离。

我吃第一口比萨时想着的是你，想到我们曾对着一张大比萨毫不害羞地你一口、我一口，大快朵颐；我沿屋旁小路跑步时想着的是你，想到我们曾是锻炼搭档，每逢中间休息都会一起分享故事；我喝醉时想着的是你，希望你就坐在我身边，我们一起声嘶力竭地唱着歌曲《甜心卡洛琳》，笑我们心中的兴奋劲儿；雷声大作时我想的也是你，希望你还能如过去那样依偎在我身旁，安慰我入睡。

我想你的次数比你知道的多。每次想到你，我都觉得自己如此幸运。能有这样一个人，无论距离远近，无论时间分隔，无论彼此相距多远，都始终是我最要好的朋友——这真是件无比美好的事。

我爱你。这份爱超越我们之间的距离，超越我们距上次拥抱、欢笑、在对方怀中流泪间隔的数月时间，超越了时空的界限。

因为友谊并不会受距离所限。

即使你我不能日日相见，我也保证一切依旧如昨，未曾改变。

1.carton [?kɑ?（r）t（?）n] n. （装盛食物等出售的）纸盒

2.Netflix：指美国Netflix网站，主要提供互联网随选流媒体播放服务。

3.patio [?p?ti??] n. （花园中靠近住房铺有水泥地面的）庭院

4.settle for：勉强接受

5.belt out：起劲地说

6.at the top of ones lungs：用尽量大的声音endprint