我是怎么反抗校园霸凌的

绘◎马豆子

扫我，朗读给你听

"Hey, loser! How do you like your new school uniform? I think it looks great on you." Those were the words of my high school bully①bully 英 ['bʊlɪ] 美 ['bʊli] n. 欺凌弱小者；土霸vt. 欺负；威吓 vi. 欺侮人,Greg Amberfield. Now, if you're all wondering if the underwear that Greg used was clean, I had the same question.

At age 14, when I went to school, my high school bully Greg, would stop me in my tracks during recess and would tell me,"I'm gonna so get you outside.I'm gonna knock you in your teeth, punch you in the gut②gut 英 [gʌt] 美 [ɡʌt] n. 内脏；肠子；剧情；胆量；海峡；勇气；直觉；肠vt. 取出内脏；摧毁（建筑物等）的内部adj. 简单的；本质的，根本的；本能的，直觉的, and laughat your sorry behind." But he didn't quite use the word "behind".I just cleaned it up because this is a Toastmasters program.

“嘿！废物！你喜欢你的新校服吗？我觉得你穿着超赞的！”这些话是我中学时期的恶霸格雷·安伯菲对我说的。好的，如果你们都在想，格雷给我穿的那件内裤是不是干净的，我也有同样的疑问。我14岁上中学的时候，我学校的恶霸格雷会在下课时间拦住我，对我说：“我会在学校外面堵你，我会打断你的牙齿，狠捶你的肚子，然后嘲笑你的后面被打得落花流水。”只不过他当时用的不是“后面”这个词。我只是讲得比较文雅一点，毕竟这是演讲会的节目。

Have you ever wondered why bullies always thought they need to tell you the exact sequence they're gonna bully you?My friends, whenever I heard those words, my hand would tremble③tremble 英 ['tremb(ə)l] 美 ['trɛmbl] vi. 发抖；战栗；焦虑；摇晃vt. 使挥动；用颤抖的声音说出 n. 颤抖；战栗；摇晃. Have you ever felt so fearful that you could not eat or sleep? At age 16, Greg was six feet tall and weighed 240 pounds of what I can only presume to be biological insulation④insulation 英 [ɪnsjʊ'leɪʃ(ə)n] 美 [,ɪnsə'leʃən]n. 绝缘；隔离，孤立.

I tried everything I could. I tried buying a cake for Greg,hoping he would stop, only to have the cake on my face. I tried telling the teacher about it, only to have Greg torment me even more. I even tried taking up taekwondo and karate, only to break my wrist while I tried to hit a thin plank.

She said, "The way to deal with bullies is not to hide or run; the way to deal with bullies is to outsmart and outlast." It was like a light bulb in my mind that went"Bing! I can do that".

Several years later, after my encounter with Greg, I met a bigger bully, a better bully, a stronger bully. This bully would echo negative words to me, telling me I’m a loser, telling me that I would never ever succeed. My self-esteem would be so damaged that some days, I would just want to lie in bed, not wanting to get up. Have you felt that way before?

My friends, as much as we try to deny it, we are our toughest and strongest bullies. We beat ourselves up, and putourselves down. Have you ever felt that you are not good enough? I felt that way. At times, we are our worst enemies.And at this point in time, if you are wondering: How long is Darren going to have this underwear outside his pants? This is the world championship of public speaking grand finals.Isn't five minutes too long? If you felt that five minutes was long, how long have you been wearing your invisible underwear outside your pants? How long have you permitted your inner bully to take charge of your life? Five minutes isn't long.

你有没有想过为什么恶霸总是认为他们需要告诉你欺凌你的每个步骤？各位朋友，每当我听到那些话，我的手就会发抖。你有没有那么害怕过？害怕到吃不下饭，睡不着觉？16岁的时候，格雷已经身高183厘米，体重109千克。我只能假设他是一种不同的物种。

我尝试过一切可能的方法。我试着给他买蛋糕，希望他能就此罢手，只换来蛋糕砸在我的脸上。我试过跟老师告状，只换来他加倍折磨我，我甚至试过上跆拳道和空手道课。但是我在试图击破一块薄板时手腕骨折。

她说：“对抗霸凌的方法不是躲也不是逃，而是你要比他更聪明更长久。”这句话让我的脑袋像灯泡一样亮起来，“叮！这我会啊！”

在我遇见格雷的几年后，我遇到了一个更大的恶霸，更厉害的恶霸，更强大的恶霸。这个恶霸会让负面的言语在我耳畔回响，跟我说我是个废物，我永远都不会成功。我的自信心被严重打击了，以至于有些时候我只想躺在床上不想起来。你们有过那样的感觉吗？

I met Greg. I was shocked to meet him at a Toastmasters'meeting. Since when did the Toastmaster's logo turn from"Where leaders are made" to "Where bullies are made"?Greg, by the way, is now a counselor teaching teenagers to combat⑤combat 英 ['kɒmbæt; 'kʌm-] 美 ['kɑmbæt]vt. 反对；与……战斗 vi. 战斗；搏斗n. 战斗；争论 adj. 战斗的；为……斗争的bullies.

"The best way to deal with our inner bullies is not to run or hide; you cannot run away from the bully here. The best way to deal with it is to stand fi rm, face it and acknowledge its presence. When you do so, you are no longer identifying with it. You are stepping out⑥step out 走出去；暂时外出and observing it. It's like instead of being out there in the storm, you are now in the housewatching the storm. Your inner bully will weaken and fade."

各位朋友，就算我们试图在否认这件事，我们就是自己最强悍的霸凌者。我们苛责自己，贬低自己。你是否曾经觉得自己不够好？我有过。有时候我们就是自己最大的敌人。此时，如果你在想：Darren到底要把内裤穿在外面多久？这可是一个公众演讲的世界冠军总决赛，五分钟难道不会太久吗？如果你觉得五分钟很久，你将那件看不见的内裤穿在外面多久了？你允许内心的恶霸控制你的生活多久了？五分钟真的不久。

我居然遇到了格雷！在演讲会上遇到他我是真的很惊讶！从什么时候开始演讲会的标语从“领袖的摇篮”变成“霸凌的摇篮”？顺道一提，格雷现在是一个咨询师，教年轻人如何对抗霸凌。

“对抗内在霸凌的最好方法不是逃跑或者躲藏。你没有办法逃离住在心里的恶霸。对抗它的最好方法是态度坚定。正视它，并承认它的存在。当你这么做的时候，你就不再跟它一样了。你跳脱出来并在旁边观察它。就像是原本困在暴风雨里，现在你在家里从旁边观察这个暴风雨。你的内在霸凌将会减弱直至消失。”

I'm not afraid any more. I'm in control because I'm acknowledging it, I'm stepping out of it, observing it, and watching it weaken and fade. My friends, let us all not run away from our inner bullies anymore. Let us all face our inner bullies, acknowledge its presence, and fi ght. Let us all be vulnerable⑦vulnerable 英 ['vʌlnərəbl] 美 ['vʌlnərəbl]adj. 易受攻击的，易受……的攻击；易受伤害的；有弱点的together as a family, supporting one another,because we can all outsmart and outlast.

我不再害怕。我掌控一切。因为我承认它，我走出它，观察它，并看着它减弱消失。朋友们，让我们都不再逃避内在的霸凌。让我们一起正视我们内在的霸凌，承认它的存在，然后对抗它。让我们尽管脆弱，但如家人一般在一起，互相扶持。因为我们都可以更聪明和更长久！