谁的青春不叛逆
2017-02-17东方君秋林夕
译◎东方君 绘◎秋林夕
As I nervously awaited my turn at Claire's, the man with all the piercings assured me it was no big deal①. My racing heart told me otherwise. Sitting in the chair, the employee had me choose an earring. By this time, my anxiety was at all-time②high. Taking her time, the lady carefully set up the piercing gun
当我在克莱尔饰品店里紧张地等着轮我打耳洞时,那个耳朵上打满耳洞的男人向我保证这没什么大不了的。我坐在椅子上,为我打耳洞的店员让我挑选一只耳钉。那一刻,我的焦虑感达到空前的高度。那位女士不慌不忙地调好穿耳枪,然后清洗了我的耳朵。与此同时,我仍在考虑自己为什么要打耳洞。and cleaned my ear. Meanwhile, I continued to consider why I was doing this.
Teens believe that resisting conformity③makes them individuals or makes a statement. Author Quentin Crisp summed it up④best: "The young always have the same problem—how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying⑤their parents and copying one another."
The slight stinging right after the click of the gun was nothing compared to the pain to come. In the weeks that followed, I could not sleep on my left side and had to clean my ear three times a day. The pain never seemed to go away.
When my dad returned, I attempted to cover the piercing with my hair. Surprisingly, even when the earring was in plain sight, he failed to notice. In some twisted way I wanted to be punished. I wanted it acknowledged that I had done something wrong. So I waited until my mom returned. To my disappointment⑥, she didn't react either.
The majority of us rebel for absolutely nothing. We want a reaction, so we do something shocking just for the sake⑦of doing something shocking.
One morning, a few months after my act of rebellion, I woke up to throbbing⑧pain in my left ear. I unscrewed the back of the earring and blood gushed out. As I pulled the earring out,the pain miraculously disappeared.
Sometimes I unconsciously brush my fi ngers over the spot where my earring used to be. If I press hard enough, it still feels a little sore. I am pretty sure that small bump will never go away.
青少年们认为,拒绝服从能让他们成为与众不同的人,或是表明自己的立场。作家昆汀·克里斯普总结得最为精妙:“年轻人总是面临着同样的问题,即如何同时做到反叛与服从。如今他们通过反抗自己的父母和效仿彼此解决了这一问题。”
紧随穿耳枪“咔嗒”一声之后的轻微刺痛感完全不能和后面将要来临的痛苦相提并论。在接下来的几周里,我睡觉时根本无法左侧卧,而且每天必须清洗耳朵三次。那种疼痛似乎从未消失过。
爸爸回来时,我试图用头发盖住耳洞。出人意料的是,即使是在一眼就能看到我的耳钉的时候,他都未能察觉。有点纠结的是,我竟想要被惩罚,想要大家认可我做了件错事。于是,我一直等着,直到妈妈回来。令我失望的是,她也毫无反应。
我们中大多数人的叛逆都毫无缘由。我们希望得到回应,于是仅仅为了做点出格的事情而做了点出格的事情。
在这次叛逆之举过了几个月后的一天早晨,我从左耳的一阵抽痛中醒来。我拧开耳钉后面的扣,鲜血随之冒了出来。当我摘下耳钉时,疼痛竟奇迹般地消失了。
有时,我的手指仍会在无意间擦过以前戴耳钉的那个地方。如果我稍微用点力,那里还是会有点儿疼。我很确信那个小小的凸起永远都不会消失。
①no big deal 没有什么大不了的
②all-time 英 ['ɔ:ltaim] adj. 空前的;全部时间的;历来的
③ conformity 英 [kən'fɔːmɪtɪ] 美 [kən'fɔrməti]n. 一致,适合;符合;相似
④sum it up 概括,总结
⑤ defy 英 [dɪ'faɪ] 美 ['difaɪ]vt. 藐视;公然反抗;挑衅;使落空 n. 挑战;对抗
⑥to my disappointment 令我失望的是……
⑦for the sake 为了……;为了……的利益
⑧ throbbing 英 ['θrɒbɪŋ] adj. 悸动的;跳动的 n. 跳动,激动