孔子择婿

文/周东娜

孔子择婿

CONFUCIUS SELECTED SON-IN-LAW

文/周东娜

再伟大的人也有着和常人一般无二的家庭生活。据记载，孔子19岁那年迎娶了宋国女子亓官氏，从此结束了单身生活，步入了婚姻。时过一年，孔家添丁，独子孔鲤来到了人世。当时的孔子虽然年方弱冠，却已是鲁国的名人。听说孔家有了弄璋之喜，贵为一国之主的鲁昭公连忙派人登门祝贺，并带了一条大鲤鱼作为贺礼。初为人父的孔子倍感荣幸，当即给儿子取名为“鲤”，字之曰“伯鱼”。在孔鲤之后，孔子和亓官氏这对小夫妻又生了个宝贝女儿。或许是孔鲤未能从父亲那里继承来足够多的优良基因，以致于各方面都表现得十分普通，孔子内心里不免对其有些失望；相反，襁褓中的女儿却表现得异于常人，长大之后更是聪明伶俐，因而颇得父母欢心。

转眼间，女儿便已成长为身材高挑、楚楚动人的大姑娘，也陆续有热心人上门提亲。但无论是张家还是李家，不是做长辈的口碑有些差，就是孩子自身的条件不太好，总之都让孔子感到不那么理想。他自忖：与其坐等“媒妁之言”，还不如祭出“父母之命”，自己给女儿物色个婆家，这样，女儿一辈子的幸福就有了可靠的保证。打定了主意，孔子说做就做，开始对自己的弟子“过筛子”。

当把结了婚、脾气差、毛病多、年龄和体貌明显不般配的弟子一一排除之后，公冶长的形象便浮现在了孔子眼前。“就是他了！”孔子没有片刻的犹豫，果断地决定把女儿许配给这位弟子。消息传开，众弟子惊诧不已、面面相觑，窃窃议论道：“老师难道是疯了吗？”左邻右舍更是眼睛瞪得老大，脑袋摇得像是拨浪鼓：“这位孔先生真是奇了怪了，大户人家的公子他看不上，到头来却要把如花似玉的亲闺女嫁给那样一个人！看不懂，真是看不懂啊！”

人们为何对孔子决定把女儿许配给公冶长反应如此强烈？原来，公冶长其人不仅家庭贫寒，还蹲过大牢，算是人生履历中有严重污点的人。对于这位弟子的家境和既往，孔子心里十分清楚，不过在他看来，这些都不是问题。因为其一，谁都不能选择自己的出身，出身贫寒不是过错，怨天尤人、自暴自弃才最可悲，至于公冶家的这位后生，他不仅好学上进，而且朴实善良，自己的女儿嫁给这样的人，绝对是正确的选择；其二，坐牢固然不是光彩之事，但也得看究竟为何。公冶长凭借自己懂鸟语的特长帮着老妪找到了其失踪儿子的尸体却被诬告杀人，官府查明原委后将他从牢狱中释放出来，在孔子看来属于好人蒙冤，“非其罪也”。而从公冶长事后毫不计较、大度为怀的表现来看，坐牢与其说是他人生中的污点，倒不如说是一大亮点。

孔子把这番道理向周围的人们说开了，大家无不点头称是，感慨系之地说道：真不愧是圣人啊！看问题想事情就是眼光独到、与众不同。当然，“知父莫若女”，听了父亲的决定后，做女儿的二话不说就愉快地接受下来，成亲之后便踏踏实实地与夫婿过起了小日子。后来，学有所成的公冶长回到家乡，仿效自己的老师兴办私学，培养了很多学生，为儒学的传播作出了很大贡献。

Agreat man also has a normal family life which is exactly like that of ordinary people. After having a son, Kong Li, Confucius's wife gave birth to a baby girl.

In no time, Confucius's daughter had already grown into a tall, lovely young lady. Some warm-hearted people started to come to propose marriage. However, no matter what the family was, either that the elders had a poor reputation or that the child's own conditions were not good made Confucius dissatisfied with them. In the end, Confucius decided to look for a husband for his daughter by himself, and then he begun to consider his disciples. After excluding the disciples who were married, who were in bad temper, who had some defects and whose age and appearance were obviously not suitable, Confucius thought of Gongye Chang.

Gongye Chang, the young man, was not only eager to learn and progress, but also simple and kind-hearted. It was absolutely the right choice for his daughter to marry such a person. After listening to his father's decision, the daughter happily accepted it without any hesitation. After the marriage, the couple steadfastly lived a simple and happy life.