Conning a Connoisseur

By Zhang Junxia

Conning a Connoisseur

By Zhang Junxia

Z uo Zongtang(1812-1885) was a noted statesman and general in the Qing Dynasty,who,while acting as viceroy of Shanxi and Gansu provinces,recognized the notable talents of one subordinate officer surnamed Wu. Born into a noble family where both his father and grandfather had been government officers,Mr.Wu was gifted and outstanding.

One day,Zuo Zongtang intended to delegate one important task to Mr.Wu.However,several officers opposed,because they couldn’t tolerate a certain eccentricity of Mr. Wu.Wu claimed himself to be a man of fine epicurean tastes.Wherever they went,he was fastidiously finicky about the flavor of food,and even the dinnerware it was served on.He would flare up at his underlings if even one miniscule detail was not up to his standard,which made other people feel nervous and uncomfortable when working with him.How could such a dog of a man be responsible for the important tasks of the nation?

Zuo Zongtang said nothing after hearing the explanation.In the early morning of the next day,Zuo Zongtang sent someone to invite Mr.Wu to dine together.The sky was still dark and Wu hadn’t got up when the servant informed him about Zuo Zongtang’s invitation.He grabbed one article of clothing hastily and hurried outside.

When Mr.Wu arrived at Zuo Zongtang’s mansion,an imperial guard guided him to an empty room and said,“Lord Zuo asked you to stay here and wait for him.”Wu waited from early morning to noon, but nobody came to the room.He was starving,but he could not summon up the nerve to make a departure,so he could do nothing but force himself to just sit there waiting.By the evening,there finally came the pitter-patter of footsteps from the outside,Wu looked anxiously toward the door and found it was the figure of an imperial guard jaunting into the room with a makeshift teapot and teacup in hand.The guard left immediately after putting the articles on the table.Mr.Wu was so overcome with thirst that his throat was practically billowing out smoke,he was certainly too thirsty to care about the quality of the cup.He greedily drank up two cups of water in a single gulp.

The guard came again after a while,porting along some coarse rice and stir-fried cabbage.At that point,beggars could not be choosers.Wu swallowed his demanding epicurean tastes,as he wolfed down three bowls of rice. When he put down the bowl,Mr. Zuo finally showed up and apologized to him,“I’m sorry to make you wait for so long.I had some urgent matters of state to attend to.I’m dreadfully sorry.”

Mr.Zuo then instructed the guard to serve them dinner.Dish after dish of exotic and lavish delicacies were set upon the dining table.When the grand feast was served,Zuo Zongtang urged Wu to eat more.Yet stuffed full like a scarecrow,Wu was unable to swallow another bite, and could only respond with sheepish declines.

Grinning from ear to ear Zuo Zongtang said,“When you were starving,you could eat anything,no matter how putrid.When you are full,even the greatest of delicacies become tasteless and insipid.Could it be that there are no intrinsic differences between different foods?”

Upon hearing Zuo Zongtang’s words,Wu was filled with shame. After this incident,Wu never again referred to himself as a gourmet, and never once reproached his subordinates if a dish was unsavory.

(FromLecture Room,May 2015. Translation:Li Li.)