放下手机吧！

李殊 陈馨注

Put Down that Phone！

随着科技发展，各种便携式设备得以普及，手机也逐渐成为了我们生活中不可缺少的一部分。科技使得我们的生活更加便利，但同时它也影响着我们的人际关系，我们通过网络了解遥远的外部世界，却也因此常常忽略了身边的人们。是时候放下手机啦，别让科技毁了我们的生活！

“Technoference”1 may be hurting your relationship.

Its been a long， terrible day. As you recount your struggles， you suddenly notice your partner is furiously typing on his phone.2 Your anger boils3 （youve forgotten that you did the same thing to him just yesterday）. Its time to step away from the smartphone， put down the tablet， shut the laptop and turn off the TV.4 A slew of recent research suggests that if people want happy relationships， they need to stop clinging to technology.5

“I was surprised about the amount of people saying that this happens in their relationship every day，” says Sarah Coyne， an associate professor6 in the department of family life at Brigham Young University. “You are sitting there and kind of bored and check Facebook…it is almost our default7 to turn to our phones.”

In a new study， Coyne asked 143 married or cohabitating8 women to answer questions about technology use and relationships. She wanted to understand how technology encroaches on our lives and relationships， what she calls “technoference.”9 The vast majority of respondents， 70 percent， said using a cell phone interrupted interactions between them and their partners sometimes，10 often， very often or all the time. Even more， 74 percent， said that computers sometimes， often， very often or all the time disturbed their interactions with partners.

The women who reported technoference also said they fought more with their partners， which made them feel badly about their relationships. On top of this， they felt more depressed and less satisfied with life.11

“What I think the most important finding is， the more you let the technology interfere， the more conflict you have with your spouse or partner and that leads to not feeling great about the relationship，”12 she says.

Still theres other research showing that cell phone dependence can be unhealthy. “Cell phone attachment13 is positively related to an increase in stress and anxiety and even depression，” says James A. Roberts， a professor of marketing at Baylor University Hankamer School of Business. In a 2012 paper， Roberts coined the word “phub，” a mash-up of phone and snub.14 Phubbing occurs when someone chooses to play with an app， text or take a phone call instead of paying attention to a person.

“Essentially15， what we are saying is that you dont matter，” he says. “It touches at our core.”

Part of the problem is that cell phones are ubiquitous16—and fitting into society means having one. “We have a social entourage and posse.17 The more calls we get and the more we are on the phone， we clearly must be more important，” he says. But in a relationship this can be damaging： “It really devalues18 our loved ones.”

While technology can create a rift19 in a relationship， it can also bring couples together. A study published in the International Journal of Neuropsychotherapy20 finds that when couples watch TV together they felt closer. Using a laptop was the fastest way to push couples apart. “If we are sitting down and both watching TV together… that can be beneficial21，” says Coyne.

Even cell phones can be positive. In a 2011 study， Coyne found that when couples text each other nice messages， the relationship flourished22. When they texted about controversial topics， the relationship suffered.23 The solution？

“When you are face to face， just talk，” says Coyne. He suggests that if you notice your partner relying too heavily on technology， say something like， “Hey Ive been so busy texting that I havent talked to you.”

Roberts believes that carving out cell phone-free time， like at meals， can reduce the strain on relationships.24 And， when people have to use their phones， politely apologizing can prevent hurt feelings. “You may see its actually freeing，” he says.

1. technoference： 科技入侵。

2. recount： 敘述；furiously： 激烈地，飞快地。

3. boil： 发怒。

4. smartphone： 智能手机；tablet： 平板电脑；laptop： 笔记本电脑。

5. a slew of： 许多，大量的；cling to： 依附，附着。

6. associate professor： 副教授。

7. default： 默认，这里指一种约定俗成的方式。

8. cohabitating： 同居的。

9. 她想了解科技是如何蚕食我们的生活和人际关系的。她把科技的这种影响称之为“科技入侵”。 encroach on： 侵占，侵害。

10. respondent： 调查对象；interaction： 互动，交流。

11. on top of： 除……外；depressed： 忧郁的，沮丧的，后文depression为名词。

12. interfere： 干涉，介入；conflict： 矛盾，争执；spouse： 配偶。

13. attachment： 依恋。

14. 在2012年发表的论文里，罗伯茨创造出了一个新词“phub”（“低头族”），这个词是“phone”（电话）和“snub”（冷落）的结合体。coin： 创造（新词语）；mash-up： 结合体；snub：（言行的）冷落， 怠慢。

15. essentially： 从根本上讲。

16. ubiquitous： 普遍存在的。

17. entourage： 环境；posse： 一群朋友。

18. devalue： 轻视。

19. rift： 分歧，不和。

20. journal： 期刊，杂志；neuropsy- chotherapy： 神经心理治疗。

21. beneficial： 有益的。

22. flourish： 繁荣，兴旺，这里指关系的健康发展。

23. controversial： 引起争论的，有争议的；suffer： 变差，恶化。

24. carve out： 开辟出；strain： 压力。