Students’Safety
2016-05-14姜经志
姜经志
According to a survey, students safety has become a big problem. Now in many big cities in China, some schools have set up a new lesson about self-protection.
Students like this lesson because there are not① exams, and they can learn how to save lives and know how to stop danger before it really happens. The course is colorful. They teach useful something②. For example, if a car hits you, you should remember the cars plate number. If it is raining hard and there is lightning, dont stay in high places and stay away from trees. When there is fire, get away as faster③ as you can and put wet things on your body and try to find an exit. Do not by④ the lift.
安徽省濉溪县四铺中心学校八(2)班 曹梦昧
点评
1. 优点:
如今学生的安全问题越来越受到关注和重视。小作者叙述了在危险发生时应注意的事项及如何进行自救等等。本文语言准确,主题鲜明,表达流畅,层次分明。虽然出现了几处错误,仍不失为一篇学生佳作。
2. 需要修改的地方:
① not改为no。not不能直接修饰名词,而no可以直接修饰名词;
② useful something 改为something useful。当形容词修饰something, anything, nothing等不定代词时,形容词应放在不定代词的后面;
③ faster改为fast。as... as意为“与……一样……”,中间应用形容词或副词的原形;
④ by改为take。Do not后面应接动词原形,不能直接跟介词。
3. 评分:
按中考英语作文满分20分的标准,本文修改前可得18分。