相信自己

A Fine Match

One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse， so she ran out of the house， got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her， “Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse.”

The lady went home with her mousetrap， but when she looked in her cupboard， she could not find any cheese in it. She did not want to go back to the shop， because it was very late， so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.

Surprisingly， the picture of the cheese was quite successful！ When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese！

势均力敌

有一天某位女士看到一只老鼠在自家的厨房地板上窜过。她很害怕老鼠，所以她冲出屋子，搭上了公共汽车直奔商店。在那儿，她买了一只老鼠夹。店主告诉她：“放点奶酪在里面，很快你就会逮住那只老鼠的。”

这位女士带着鼠夹回到家里，但她没有在碗橱里找到奶酪。她不想再回到商店里去，因为已经很晚了。于是，她就从一份杂志中剪下一幅奶酪的图片放进了夹子。

令人称奇的是，这画有奶酪的图片竟然奏效了！第二天早上，这位女士下楼到厨房时，发现鼠夹里奶酪图片旁有一张画有老鼠的图片！

I Taught the Teacher

Mother asked her boy， “Darling， what did the teacher teach you today？”

“Nothing， Mum，” answered the son proudly， “instead， she asked me what one and two was， and I told her three.”

我教老师

妈妈问她的儿子：“宝贝，今天老师教你些什么？”

儿子骄傲地说：“什么也没教，妈妈，她反倒问我一加二等于多少，我告诉她是三。”

Im All Right

A stormy night， Mum went upstairs to her sons bedroom in case he was frightened by the thunder and lightning.

“Are you all right， Darling？” she asked softy.

“Yes， Mum， “said her son. “Is that Dad mucking about with the telly again？”

我没事

一个暴风雨的晚上，妈妈到楼上儿子的房间去看看他，怕他被雷电吓着。

“宝贝，你没事吧？”妈妈轻声地问。

“没事，”儿子说，“是不是爸爸又在乱开电视机了？”

I Got an A in English

Peter is showing his report card to his Mum， who looks excited. Mum calls to her husband， “Hey， Tom， come and look at this report—I got an A in English.”

我英语得了A

彼得把自己成绩单拿给妈妈看，妈妈兴奋得叫丈夫：“嗨，汤姆，快来看这张成绩单——我英语得了A。”

A Thank-you letter

“Are you writing a thank-you letter to Grandma as I told you？”

“Yes， Mum.”

“Your handwriting seems very large.”

“Well， Grandma is deaf， so Im writing very loud.”

一封感谢信

“你在按照我说的给奶奶写感谢信吗？”

“是的，妈妈。”

“你的字写得好象太大了。”

“喔，奶奶的耳朵不好，所以我写得大声点儿。”

Ground Rules

One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau was known of his droll sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class， he said， “Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring， so I dont mind if you look at your watches during class. I do， however， object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure theyre still running.”

基本原则

位于吉拉多海角的密苏里东南州立大学有一位我非常喜欢的老师，他奇特的幽默感很是出名。在对一个新生班级讲解他的基本原则时，他说：“我知道我的讲课可能经常会枯燥乏味，了无生趣，所以如果你们在上课时看表我并不介意。不过我坚决反对你们将表在课桌上猛敲看它们是不是还在走。”

Believe in yourself

A professor stood before his class of 20 senior organic biology students， about to hand out the final exam.

“I want to say that its been a pleasure teaching you this semester. I know youve all worked extremely hard and many of you are off to medical school after summer. So that no one gets their GPA messed up because they might have been celebrating a bit too much this week， anyone who would like to opt out of the final exam today will receive a ‘B for the course.”

There was much rejoicing amongst the class as students got up， passed by the professor to thank him and sign out on his offer. As the last taker left the room， the professor looked out over the handful of remaining students and asked， “Any one else？ This is your last chance.” One final student rose up and took the offer.

The professor closed the door and took attendance of those students remaining. “Im glad to see you believe in yourself.” he said. “You all have ‘A s.”

相信自己

一位有机生物学教授站在20名高年级的学生面前，正准备发期末考试的试卷。

“我要说的是，这个学期能够教你们我感到非常荣幸。我明白你们都很努力，你们中的许多人在暑假之后就要去医学院深造了。为了避免同学们因为参与本周末过多的庆祝活动而影响了学习成绩，所以有谁愿意放弃这次考试，就可以得‘B。”

许多学生异常惊喜，一个接一个地站了起来，从教授身边走过，对他表示感谢，并在纸上签了名。等到最后一个选择放弃的学生走出教室后，教授看着剩下的同学问：“还有吗？这是你们的最后机会了。”终于，还是有一名同学站了起来，接受了建议。

教授关上门，清点了一下剩余的同学，说道：“我非常高兴看到你们能够相信自己，你们都得‘A。”