An Introduction of Myself
2015-11-25石宇
【栏目要求】
1. 将学生习作根据中考分值给出成绩; 2. 在应该修改的地方划线并标注序号;
3. 根据所标序号进行修改并说明修改的理由; 4. 给学生习作点评<优点与不足>;
5. 请点评名师提供简历一份,包括:学校、职务、 职称、荣誉、教研教学成果、照片一张。
投稿邮箱: zxsyy2007@163.com或whzxsyy@163.com
来稿请寄: 430079 华中师范大学外国语学院《中学生英语》 杂志社 收
石宇 男,曲阜师范大学英语系毕业,山东省梁山县杨营中学一级教师,济宁市优秀教师,济宁市教学能手,梁山县优秀班主任。多年担任毕业班的英语教学,取得了优异成绩,辅导的学生在山东省2012年初中生英语竞赛中荣获一等奖,并在国家级、省级报刊上发表教学论文多篇。
An Introduction of Myself
Im a 13-year-old girl. I like laughing. I like listening to music in my spare time. I too① have other hobbies, such as reading books and swimming.
I have two sisters. One of them will go to college this term. Because② her influence, English has become my favorite subject. The other will become a fashion designer. They are not only my good sisters but also my good friends. They help me a lot in③ my studies. I love them very much.
I have many dreams. But my biggest dream is to be a college student because I want to do my bit for our country. I believe my dream will come true if I study hardly④.
山东省梁山县杨营中学七年级 李玉平
1. 优点:
小作者从几个方面介绍了自己的性格、爱好及理想。文章思路清晰,层次分明,过渡自然,是一篇值得推荐的学生习作。
2. 需要修改的地方:
① too改为also,too用在句子结尾;
② Because后加of,because of后接名词短语;
③ in改为with,help... with... 意思是“在……方面帮助……”;
④ hardly改为hard,hard意思是“努力地”。
3. 评分:
按中考英语作文满分15分的评分标准,本文修改前可得12分。