幽默小故事
2015-11-21于孔春
Bedtime Pray
Julie was saying her bedtime prayers.“Please God,”she said,“Make Naples the capital of Italy.Make Naples the capital of Italy.”
Her mother interrupted and said,“Julie,why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?”
Julie replied,“Because that’s what I put in my geography exam.”
睡前祷告
朱莉叶在做睡前祷告。“求求上帝，”她说，“让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。”
她的妈妈打断她，说：“朱莉叶，你为什么求上帝让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都呢？”
朱莉叶回答说：“因为我在地理考卷上是这么写的。”
Look Twenty Years Younger
When I was 28,I was teaching English to high school freshmen1in a school where the teachers were allowed to dress down occasionally2.
One day,I wore a T-shirt and slacks3.A student came in and his eyes widened.
“Wow!”he exclaimed4.“You should wear clothes like that every day.You look twenty, maybe even thirty years younger!”
年轻了20岁
28岁那年，我在一所高中教一年级学生英语。这所学校允许教职员工可以偶尔穿便装。一天，我穿了一件运动衫和一条休闲裤。一个学生进来看见后，瞪大了眼睛。
“哇！”他大呼小叫地说：“你该天天这么穿。你看上去足足年轻了20岁，甚至30岁呢！”
Thin Walls
“The walls in our apartment are so thin that whenever our neighbors open their windows in winter,we are sure to catch a cold.”said A.
“The walls in our apartment are so thin that I once asked my wife a question and got three different answers.”said B.
“The walls in our apartment are so thin that whenever my wife peels onions,the people next door sneeze5.”said C.
薄墙壁
A说：“我们的公寓墙壁太薄了，所以我们的邻居在冬季无论什么时候开门，我们肯定会感冒。”
B说：“我们的公寓墙壁太薄了，所以一次我问妻子一个问题，却得到了三个不同的答复。”
C说：“我们的公寓墙壁太薄了，所以我的妻子无论什么时候切洋葱，隔壁的人都会打喷嚏。”
Civil6Rights
On the first day of an American history class,the professor assigned7homework on civil rights.
The next day,he asked one of my classmates to name ten of those rights.When the student made no response,the professor said,“All right.Name five.”
Still the student said nothing.Finally,the professor said angrily,“Just name one right you have as a civilian.”
To a room full of laughter,the student replied,“I have the right to remain silent.”
公民的权利
第一天上美国历史课时，教授布置有关公民权利的家庭作业。
第二天，教授要求一位学生列举其中十种权利。那位学生没有回答，教授说：“好吧，说出五种。”
那位学生还是一声不吭，最后教授气愤地说：“那就只说一种作为公民所拥有的权利吧。”
面对哄堂大笑，那位学生回答：“我有权利保持沉默。”
One Day Seems a Year
One day,a professor asked his students,“If you had only three days to live in this world, what would you do?”
Student A:I want to stay with my friends.
Student B:I want to go back to see my parents.
Student C:I will try my best to eat some delicious food.
Student D:Professor,I want to attend your lecture.
Hearing this,the professor was very moved.He thought that anyhow there was still a student who wanted to attend his lecture.Just at this moment,he wanted very much to know why the student liked his lecture.So the professor asked,“Can I know the reason?”
“Because when we are in your class,we feel that one day seems a year.”Answered student D.
度日如年
某日，一位教授问他的学生：“假如你们只剩下三天时间可以活在这个世界上的话，你们会做些什么？”
学生A：我想和朋友待在一起。学生B：我想回家看父母。
学生C：我要使劲吃些美味的东西。
学生D：教授，我想听你讲课。
听到这里教授非常感动。心想，总算有学生愿意听自己的课。此时，他很想知道那位学生喜欢他讲课的原因。于是，教授问道：“我能知道原因吗？”
“因为我们听教授的课有种度日如年的感觉。”学生D回答。
1.freshman[ ]n.（中学或大学的）一年级学生；新手
2.occasionally[ ]n.偶尔；偶然；有时候 3.slack[ ]n.宽松裤
4.exclaim[ ]n.呼喊；惊叫；大声说 5.sneeze[ ]v.打喷嚏
6.civil[ ]adj.公民的，市民的 7.assign[ ]v.布置；分派，分配
