Jokes and Humor

2015-10-21张武

中学生英语·教师版 2015年5期

张武

Teacher and Student

Teacher： Everybody！Examination is coming tomorrow！Test paper is locked in my drawer！Review your lessons carefully after going back home！Any more questions？

Students： Yes！Where is the key of the drawer？

师生间的对话

老师：同学们，明天就要考试了！试卷在我抽屉里锁着，回家后要好好复习功课！谁还有什么问题？

学生：有！您抽屉的钥匙在哪里？

The Consequence

Teacher： What is the consequence of the breaking up of the former Soviet Union？

Student： It means that we have more names of new countries to remember.

后果

教师：前苏联解体后造成了什么后果？

学生：这意味着我们有更多的国名需要记。

The absent-minded professor

“Where are my shoes？” the absent-minded professor muttered， as the class ended.

“They are on your feet，” said one of the students.

“So they are，” said the professor. “Its good you saw them， or I would have gone home without them.”

心不在焉的教授

“我的鞋呢？”下課的时候心不在焉的教授喃喃地问道。

“在你的脚上呢。”有一个学生说。

“呵，可不是吗，幸亏你看见了，要不我会光着脚回家。”

Im a bachelor

Jack fell off his bicycle and got hurt. A young and beautiful nurse asked him to fill out a form. Jack finished it and gave it back. “Anything else？” the nurse asked. “Yes，” Jack thought for a while and said， “Im a bachelor.”

我是个单身汉

杰克骑车摔伤，得住院治疗。一位年轻美貌的护士让杰克填一张表。杰克填好后把表格递给护士。“还有什么漏填的吗？”护士问道。“有，”杰克想了一会儿说，“我是个单身汉。”

The Dentists Explanations

Little Toms mother was on the telephone to the boys dentist.“I dont understand it，”she complained， “I thought his treatment would only cost ten yuan， but you have charged me 40 yuan.”

“It is usually ten yuan， madam，” agreed the dentist， “But Jackie yelled so loudly that three of my other patients ran away！”

牙医的解释

小汤姆的妈妈在给汤姆的牙医打电话。“我不明白”，她抱怨地说，“我以为他的医治费只需10元就够了，可你要了我40元。”

“夫人，一般情况下是10元，”牙医生赞同地说，“可是汤姆大声叫喊，吓跑了另外的三位患者。”

Unfair

A： Mr. Brown died yesterday. Are you going to attend his funeral？

B： No， of course not！

A： Why not？ I thought you were friends.

B： It wouldnt be fair if I did.

A： Not fair？ What do you mean？

B： If I attended his funeral， would he be able to attend mine？

不公平