What Would You Do ifThere Were a Week’s HOIiday?
2015-10-20贺静
【栏目要求】
1. 将学生习作根据中考分值给出成绩; 2. 在应该修改的地方划线并标注序号;
3. 根据所标序号进行修改并说明修改的理由; 4. 给学生习作点评<优点与不足>;
5. 请点评名师提供简历一份,包括:学校、职务、 职称、荣誉、教研教学成果、照片一张。
来稿请寄: 430079 华中师范大学外国语学院《中学生英语》 杂志社 收
本 期 点 评 名 师
贺静 女,湖北省洪湖市老湾中心学校教师, 从事教育工作4年。连续3年担任初三毕业班的老师,一直认真研究初中英语的教学教法。2009辅导学生获得全国中学生英语竞赛二等奖。2010年辅导学生获得中学生英语竞赛洪湖市二等奖。2010年获得荆州市教研成果三等奖。2012年获得优秀教师称号。
What Would You Do if There Were a Weeks Holiday?
If there were a weeks holiday, what would you do? Different students in our class have different ideas.
If there were a weeks holiday, Wang Peng would study English at home, because he wants to work in USA when he grows up. How hard-working he is!Zhou jinxing would visit the Beijing①. He wants to relax himself. He is always too busy in the school②. Li Tingting wants to be a writer. So she would read and write in the library. She is very quite③.
Everyone has different ideas. And I would sleep all day, because I am too tired.
I hope that everyone has④ a good time on the weeks holiday.
湖北省洪湖市老湾中心学校九(2)班 邹慧轩
1. 优点:
对于九年级的毕业生来说,这是一篇不错的习作。文章是结合人教版UNIT4所学的虚拟语气所写的。文章采用了总分总的结构, 前后呼应, 首尾连贯。第一段介绍了如果有一周的假期, 不同的人有不同的观点; 第二段举例说明;第三段写了自己的观点;最后一段发表期望, 结构十分严谨, 条理也非常清晰。.
2. 需要修改的地方:
①去掉the;
②去掉the;
③quite意为“非常”, 此处应为quiet(安静的);
④has改成虚拟语气would have更好。
3. 评分:
按中考英语作文满分15分的评分标准,本文修改前可得14分。