幽默小故事

河北省阜城县古城中学 张超 供稿

幽默小故事

河北省阜城县古城中学 张超 供稿

You Are Wrong

Mother:Tom,which month is longer,May or June?

Tom:May,of course.

Mother:No,June is longer,because it has four letters,yet May has only three letters.

Tom:That’s it.Then which month do you think comes first？

Mother:January does.

Tom:No,April usually comes first in every dictionary.

Mother:OK.Do you know what country has the most people?

Tom:That’s easy.China has the most people.

Mother:Aha.You are wrong again.The United Nations has the most people.

你错了

妈妈：汤姆,五月和六月哪个月更长?

汤姆：当然是五月啦。

妈妈：哦，不是的，六月更长一些，因为它有四个字母，而五月只有三个字母。

汤姆：你说得没错。那么你认为哪个月先到来呢?

妈妈：一月。

汤姆：错啦。在每一本字典中四月总是先出现。

妈妈：好吧。那你知道哪个国家人口最多吗?

汤姆：太简单了。中国人口最多。

母亲：哈哈，你又错了。联合国人口最多。

Father and Son

Father:I promised to buy you a car if you passed your exam,and you have failed.What were you doing last term?

Son:I was learning how to drive.

父亲和儿子

父亲：如果你通过了考试,我答应给你买一辆车，而你却没有通过。上学期你干什么了？

儿子：我在学习开车。

You Get Zero

During a Christmas exam,one of the questions was:“What causes a depression1?”One of the students wrote on the paper:“God knows!I don’t.Merry Christmas!”

The exam paper came back with the professor’s words:“God gets 100!You get zero! Happy New Year!”

你得了0分

圣诞节期间的一次考试，其中的一个问题是:“造成经济萧条的原因是什么?”一个学生在试卷上写道：“上帝知道!我不知道。圣诞快乐!”

试卷带着教授的批语发了下来：“上帝得了100分!你得了0分。新年快乐!”

Customer and Waiter

Customer:Waiter,just look at the chicken you served.It’s nothing but skin and bones!

Waiter:What else do you want,sir?Would you also like the feathers?

顾客和服务员

顾客：服务员，看看你端上来的鸡肉。除了皮和骨头，什么也没有!

服务员：先生，你想要别的什么?难不成你还喜欢鸡毛吗？

We’ll Be All Square

Brown:John,would you lend me fifty dollars if I asked you?

John:Yes,I suppose so.

Brown:All right,then,lend me fifty,but just give me twenty-five of it.

John:OK.But why?

Brown:Then you’ll owe2me twenty-five,and I’ll owe you twenty-five,and we’ll be all square3.

我们俩扯平了

布朗：约翰，如果我开口的话，你能借给我五十美元吗?

约翰：会的，我想我会的。

布朗：好的，那么，就借给我五十美元吧，但你只需给我25美元即可。

约翰：好的。但这是为什么呢?

布朗：那么，你将欠我25美元，我也欠你25美元，我们扯平了。

My Gum

I took my three-year-old son,Jack,to the supermarket.Jack got tired of walking,so I made him ride on my shoulders.As I walked,Jack began pulling my hair.Although I asked him calmly to stop several times.He kept on.Getting angry,I scolded,“Jack!Stop that!”

“Daddy,”he replied,“I’m just trying to get my gum back.”

我的口香糖

我带着三岁的儿子杰克去逛超市。杰克走累了，我便让他骑在自己的肩上。走着走着，杰克开始不停地拽我的头发。我好几次耐着性子让他老实点儿，可他就是不听，最后我发火了，呵斥道，“杰克，不要闹了！”

“爸爸，我只是想拿回我的口香糖，”杰克回答道。

3.all square势均力敌，不相上下；扯平，互不相欠