When God Created Fathers当上帝创造父亲时

Erma Bombeck

When the good Lord was creating Fathers， he started with a tall frame.

A female angel nearby said， "What kind of a Father is that？ If you're going to make children so close to the ground， why have you put the Father up so high？ He won't be able to shoot marbles1） without kneeling， tuck2） a child in bed without bending or even kiss a child without stooping3）."

God smiled and said， "Yes， but if I make him child size， who would children have to look up to？"

And when God made a Father's hands， they were large. The angel shook her head and said， "Large hands can't manage diaper pins4）， small buttons， rubber bands5） on pony tails6）， or even remove splinters7） caused from baseball bats8）."

Again God smiled and said， "I know， but they're large enough to hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets， yet small enough to cup a child's face in them."

Then God molded long slim legs and broad shoulders. "Do you realize you just made a Father without a lap9）？" The angel chuckled10）.

God said， "A Mother needs a lap. A Father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled， to balance a boy on a bicycle or to hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus."

When God was in the middle of creating the biggest feet any one had ever seen， the angel could not contain11） herself any longer. "That's not fair. Do you honestly think those feet are going to get out of bed early in the morning when the baby cries， or walk through a birthday party without crushing one or two of the guests？"

God again smiled and said， "They will work. You will see. They will support a small child who wants to ride to Banbury Cross12） or scare mice away from a summer cabin， or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill." God worked throughout the night， giving the Father few words， but a firm authoritative voice； eyes that see everything， but remain calm and tolerant.

Finally， almost as an afterthought13）， He added tears. Then He turned to the angel and said， "Now are you satisfied he can love as much as a Mother can？"

The angel said nothing more.

1. marble [?mɑ?bl] n. 弹子；弹珠；弹球

2. tuck [t?k] vt. 把……塞入；把……藏入

3. stoop： 请参见P1注释1

4. diaper pin： 别（婴儿的）尿布的小别针

5. rubber band： 橡皮筋

6. pony tail： 马尾辫

7. splinter [?spl?nt?（r）] n. （木头、玻璃等硬物的）尖细碎片，裂片（尤指偶然刺入皮肤的木刺）

8. bat [b?t] n. 球棒；球拍

9. lap [l?p] n. （人坐着时的）大腿部

10. chuckle [?t??kl] vi. 低声轻笑；偷笑

11. contain [k?n?te?n] vt. 抑制（感情）

12. ride to Banbury Cross： 这种说法源自英语中的童谣“Ride a Cock Horse to Banbury Cross”。班伯里（Banbury）是英国牛津郡查韦尔区的一个集镇。

13. afterthought [?ɑ?ft?θ??t] n. 事后的想法；追加的事物