关于美的事实和真相

Dear girls，

Youre so young right now. Im planning on being around for you well into your lives and adulthood， but even so， who knows how things might change down the road， and at least youll have your 34-year-old mothers thoughts down on paper.

Anyway， I want this letter to be about beauty and my relationship to it. I feel this enormous responsibility， as a mother of two little girls， to lead you down a path that is relatively healthy when it comes to beauty and self-image.

I played with Barbie for a solid decade when I was growing up and here I am now at a healthy weight with a healthy outlook about my body and image. I have a masters degree and have a successful career and a published book. If Barbie were really so damaging to my femininity and self-image， I highly doubt I could list all of the latter as accomplishments.

But I get it too. Its hard for women to maintain a healthy self-image. Its hard not to obsess over our weight and to wish we could afford more stylish clothes. Its hard not to covet someone elses hair or eyelashes， and to spend inordinate amounts of time trying to achieve looks that we were never suited for in the first place.

I have girlfriends around. Even though I love them， just being around them makes me self-conscious. I look at old pictures of my mother and wonder why Ive never been able to be as skinny as she was. We women go round and round in circles， holding hands and trying to be one another sometimes.

Men like to think we dress and style ourselves for them， but why would we when they hardly notice？ Ive never tried so hard to look good as when I know Im about to meet up with a stylish girlfriend. Its she who will notice my slimmed down waist or the thinnest， little bracelet on my arm.

And I have no doubt that the two of you， Veronica and Juliette， will endlessly compare yourselves to each other. You will wonder why one of you get longer legs or shinier hair or thicker eyelashes. The thing Ill tell you， the thing to remember is this： not even the prettiest of us feel settled. The girl you think looks the most perfect in all the world is probably the girl who wants to change herself more than anyone else.

Dont take these on. Dont let that message carry any weight within yourselves. You are not worthless. You are so full of love and light and you should let it shine through you every second of every day. If someone pushes you down for standing tall then just push yourself back up and stand even taller. I will tell you that I have never in my life felt more beautiful than when I have stood my tallest.

Stand tall.

Love，

Mom

我亲爱的女儿们：

你们现在如此稚嫩。我计划着一路陪伴你们长大成人，即便如此，谁也不知道将来会发生什么，但至少你们会有我这个34岁的母亲写下的想法供你们参考。

不管怎样，我想在这封信里谈谈关于美以及我对美的看法。作为一个有两个女儿的母亲，我有重大的责任把你们导向相对健康的对美和自我形象的认识之路。

我小时候玩了整整十年的芭比娃娃，现在我有标准的体重，对体型和外貌有正确的认识，获得了硕士学位，事业成功，还出版了一本书。如果芭比娃娃真的对我的女性特质和个人形象有不良的影响，那我真是非常怀疑我列出的以上成就是怎么来的。

但是，我也知道，对女人来说，有正确的自我形象观很不容易。想要不被增加的体重困扰，能不奢求有钱买更多时髦的衣服，这真的很难；想要不觊觎别的女生的时尚发型和浓密睫毛，能克制自己不在身上花过多的时间打造完全不适合自己的造型，这些也都太难了。

我身边有一群女性朋友，虽然我很爱她们，但和她们待在一起我会觉得不自然。看着我妈妈的老照片，我总是纳闷为什么我永远不能像她那么骨感。我们女人总在转圈圈，有时还牵着彼此的手试着成为对方。

男人习惯性地认为我们穿衣打扮是为了给他们看，但为什么当他们几乎注意不到这些时，我们依然乐此不疲呢？当我知道马上要见一个时髦的女性朋友时，我就会费尽心思地打扮自己，让自己看起来容光焕发。而她也肯定会注意到我苗条的腰线和手臂上纤细精巧的手镯。

毫无疑问，维罗妮卡和朱丽叶，你们以后也会无止境地相互比较。你们会郁闷为什么对方的腿比自己的长，头发比自己的有光泽或者睫毛比自己的浓密。我要告诉你们并请你们牢记：即使是最漂亮的女人也没有安全感，你眼里最完美的女孩或许比任何人都想改变自己。

不要太在乎这些外在的差异，不要让这些讯息成为你的思想负担。你有自己独特的价值。你的生命中充满爱和光芒，让它们每一天的每分每秒都照耀你的生活吧！如果有人为了站得高一点而把你推倒，那么你得坚强地站起来，让自己站得更高！而我要告诉你们的是，当我站在人生最高处的时候，我觉得那是我最美丽的时刻！

昂首挺立。

爱你们的妈妈endprint