如果狗狗会发短信
2014-10-11贺蕾
贺蕾
Dog: You got a letter.
Me: OK.
Dog: From the bank, I think,
Me: OK.
Dog: Tasted important.
Dog: Hey. Why are you keeping another dog in the bedroom?
Me: Christ. I have told you so many times... Thats a mirror! The dog is yourself!
Dog: Oh. OK.
(Two days later...)
Dog: Hey. Why are you keeping another dog in the bedroom?
Me: Stop going in my bedroom!
Dog: Im still hungry.
Me: Youve had breakfast.
Dog: I want more breakfast.
Me: Youll get fat.
Dog: Whats “fat”?
Me: Its what happens when you eat too much food.
Dog: Eat too much food? “Fat” sounds awesome. Lets get fat.
Dog: I found the stick.
Me: Good boy!Bring it back.
Dog: But I couldnt find the stick you threw. I found a bigger one.
Me: Where did you get it?
Dog: It was next to an old man sitting on a bench.
Me: Put it back!
狗狗:收到一封给你的信。
我:好的。
狗狗:我想可能是从银行寄来的。
我:好的。
狗狗:尝起来很重要的样子。
狗狗:喂!你为什么在卧室里又养一条狗?
我:跟你说了多少次了……那是镜子,那条狗是你自己!
狗狗:这样啊,好吧。
(两天后……)
狗狗:喂!你怎么在卧室里又养了一条狗?
我:不许再进我的卧室了!
狗狗:我还是饿。
我:你不是吃过早餐了吗?
狗狗:我还想吃。
我:你会变胖的。
狗狗:什么是“胖”?
我:当你吃了很多东西后就会那样。
狗狗:吃很多东西?那“胖”太棒了,我要变胖!
狗狗:我找到棍子了。
我:好样的!捡回来吧。
狗狗:但是我找不到你扔的那根棍子,我找到的是个更大的。
我:你从哪找的?
狗狗:在一个坐在长椅上的老爷爷旁边。
我:赶紧放回去!