Social Media Parenting

By+Yuan+Yuan

Zhang Ming stunned Chinese netizens earlier this year with his efforts to help his parents learn to use social media. The 26-year-old man drew a seven-page guide by hand for his mother and father on how to use WeChat， an instant messaging app for smartphones with more than 350 million active users a month.

In the manual， Zhang sketched out the user interface of WeChat and provided step-bystep illustrations on how to send text messages， voice messages， pictures and emoticons through the app. The steps that require closer attention were highlighted in red while the emoticons were sketched in vivid colors and treated with a more cartoon approach.

Graduating from Chongqing University of Post and Telecommunications， Zhang has been working in Beijing for a few years and has only been able to reunite with his family in Shandong Province for a few weeks every year. In January， Zhang bought two smartphones for his parents and tried to teach them how to use WeChat so they could stay in touch.

But after he showed his parents how to use the app during a visit over the Chinese Lunar New year holiday， he found that they never contacted him through the app after he returned to Beijing. His mother later admitted to him in a phone call that after Zhang left， they had forgotten how to use WeChat and gave up.

“My parents were nervous when it came to using smartphones and I felt sad when I thought of my mom fumbling with hers，” said Zhang， who came up with the idea of drawing the WeChat instructions.

“Since you may not be able to master WeChat quickly， just slow down and thumb through this little book. Hopefully it can relieve your anxieties，” wrote Zhang on the booklets cover page.

“With WeChat， my parents can send me voice messages if they dont want to type. They can also learn more about my life through the messages and pictures I share on the app，”Zhang said.

Zhangs method proved a success. During an interview with Chongqing Evening News， Zhangs mother said， “I can now chat with my son whenever I want， knowing what he is up to every day. It makes me feel happy.”

Zhangs parents now message him constantly， which also helps Zhang to learn what is going on with his family back home. “We feel closer to each other，” Zhang said.

Zhangs manual was an instant hit on the Internet after he posted it online in February. The guide book prompted a number of major news outlets to repost the photos. Many netizens replied by saying that they would show the manual to their parents too.endprint

Hi， Mom

Chen yuxin， 25， works at an electronics company in Chongqing. Not long ago， her mother asked her how to use WeChat as well as Weibo， a Twitter-like microblogging service.

“I was surprised because my mother doesnt like the Internet at all and once said that smartphone screens are too small to read，”Chen said.

Chen taught her mother how to access news with a smartphone but didnt give instructions on how to use WeChat and Weibo. “I still wanted to keep my life at some distance from my parents as I knew they would definitely follow my Weibo and WeChat accounts as soon as they were able to.”

But Chen later found out that her mother used her cousins phone to check her Weibo and WeChat accounts.

“I am afraid that when my sight gets worse， I wont be able to see your posts anymore，”Chens mother told Chen， who realized her mother just wants to know what was going on in her life.

“I was selfish to consider my own feelings but ignore my parents needs，” Chen said. “They need company and are eager to know what I am up to.”

Now Chen and her mother interact actively on WeChat and Weibo.

Tong yao， a 23-year-old student at Wuhan University in Hubei Province， regrets adding her mom on WeChat， however.

“My mom overreacts on almost everything I share，” Tong said. “One time I posted that I might have a fever， my mother even planned to fly to Wuhan and take me to the hospital.”

“I told her it was just a fever and she didnt need to freak out， but my mom said that she couldnt help it，” said Tong， who set up a group on WeChat for her friends that excludes her mother. “We are already adults， but our parents still treat us like little kids.”

Niu yanqing， a 52-year-old mother from Chongqing， said that her son is a good boy， but he hasnt talked with her and her husband much since he started attending a university in another province. “He only calls back once a month and hangs up the phone within two minutes，” she complained.

After Niu learnt that her son was active on some social networking services， she quickly bought a smartphone and kept track of her sons accounts secretly. “I am happy to see him updating his diary every day but also fear that he will find out I am spying on him.”

“My mom would not reply on WeChat but would call me immediately when she thinks I am not in a good mood，” said another student from Wuhan University who asked to be identified as Xiao Zhang.endprint

One day after Xiao Zhang shared a popular South Korean actress picture on WeChat， his mother thought it was his girlfriend and called him to ask about her.

“I was speechless，” said Xiao Zhang， whose aunts and uncles are also on WeChat. “They always share the posts that encourage young people to work hard. Articles like that make me feel like I am a lazy person with no hope for the future.”

Better understanding

“Keeping away from your parents on WeChat and other social networking services is not a problem with the apps. It reflects the communication gap between family members in real life，” said Zhu Waner， a psychologist at Zhejiang University.

“For todays youth， social networks are like the diaries of the past. Just like teenagers used to lock their diaries， young people want to keep their posts on social networks away from the eyes of their parents.”

For Zhu， secretly following a childs social networking accounts is inadvisable. “Both parents and children should find an effective method of communication and learn more about each others thoughts and feelings.”

“Why would we keep parents out of our social media accounts？” said Chen Mingxin， a student at the Beijing-based Communication University of China. “Why cant we show them a happy and healthy life and let them know more about us this way？”

Chen Mingxin said that he used to feel weird seeing his parents make comments on his posts online. His classmates even joked with him during chats on social networks by saying， “Oh， your mother is watching you！ Should we stop？”

“But one day when my mother consulted me on a relatives options for university， it sounded like they really cared about and respected my opinion，” Chen Mingxin said. “At that moment， I realized I was already an adult and should shoulder some family responsibilities. If either my parents or I need to change， why shouldnt I take the initiative？”

Thirty-five-year-old Han， who only gave his surname， is from Xinjiang Uygur Autonomous Region and works in Chongqing. Han said that his father asked him to teach him how to send short messages with his cellphone before he left Xinjiang after the Chinese Lunar New year holiday.

“It is easy for me to do， but it took my father a long time to learn and he finally became impatient and frustrated，”Han said.

The next day， several hours after Han took on the train， he got the first short message from his father. It read， “I used up two batteries to learn how to send messages. Sorry for my anger yesterday. you take care and remember to drink milk every day.”

“Our parents， who used to support us with their strong wings， suddenly turn out to be slow and cautious. It is time for us to protect their hearts and their feelings，” Han said.endprint