多莉姨妈的帽子
2014-03-20ByAnonymous
By+Anonymous
Three things I was sure of as a child: My family loved me. Thesunwouldcomeuptomorrow.Ihadawonderfulvoice.
I figured that was unquestionably true because I participated at the top of my lungs in all the family sing-alongs, and no one ever stopped me. So I was delighted when my second-gradeteacherSisterKathleenannouncedherplansfor a musical pageant at Christmas. She said she would cast singers accordingtoability.
It was my turn. Sister played, and I sang with all the emotion a seven-year-old child could master.“Thank you, Jacquelyn,”Sister said, interrupting.“Next, please.”Id barely sung a dozen lines. Some of the kids snickered as I returned to myseat.WhathadIdonewrong?
One by one the solo roles were filled. While the other childrenstudiedtheirmusic,SisterKathleen motioned metoher desk.Shelookedkindlyatme.
“Jacquelyn,haveyouheardtheexpressiontone-deaf?”Ishookmyhead.
“It means what you think you are singing is different from the music.”Sister patted my hand.“Its nothing to be ashamed of, dear. You will still be in the pageant. You will be a lip-syncher. You may mouth the words, but no sound must be uttered.DoyouunderstandwhatImsaying?”
I understood, all right. I was so ashamed, and I didnt go home after school. I took the bus straight to Aunt Dollys house. Shehadananswerforeverything.
Independently single in an era when most women wed, shed gone on safari, shaken hands with President Eisenhower, kissed Clark Gable on the cheek, and planned to visit every country in the world. More than anyone else, she would understand that my world had been turned upside down by this terriblerevelation.
AuntDollyservedmecookiesand milk.“WhatwillI do?”I sobbed.“IfIdontsing,GodwillthinkIdontlovehim.”
Aunt Dolly drummed her fingers on the table as her brow creased in thought. Finally her eyes grew wide.“Ive got it!”she said.“Iwillwearmyhat!”
Her hat? How can a hat help me with being tone-deaf? Aunt Dolly leveled her brown eyes on my face. Her voice dropped.“Jacquelyn, Im about to reveal a bit of secret information about angels, but first you must swear that you will nevertellasoul.”
“Iswear,”Iwhispered.
Aunt Dolly took my hand in hers.“When I was in Rome, prayingin St. Peters,”she said,“I overheard a conversation in the next pew. It seems that other tone-deaf people also have concerns about God not understanding their silence in song. They were told, in the strictest confidence, of course, that a simplepieceofaluminumfoilistheanswer.”endprint
“Idontunderstand.”
“You mouth the words,”she said.“Your silent words reflect off the foil. Angels capture the words and put them in specialpouchestheycarryuptoGod.”
“WherewillIhidethefoil?”
“My hat!”said Aunt Dolly.“Ill hide it in my hat. Ill sit in the front row. As for Sister Kathleen and your parents? Not a singlewordtothem.”
My entire family attended the pageant. I gave what Aunt Dolly called“an Oscar-winning performance”. With my eyes firmly on her hat, the fact that none present could hear my voice didntmatter.MysilentsingingwasforGodsearsalone.
Four years ago Aunt Dolly died at the age of 90. When the nieces and nephews gathered to reminisce about her, we discoveredsomethingmanyofushadincommon,herangelichat.
A stutterer made it through a dreaded speech by concentrating on the hat. Even the most timid of us took part in schoolplays, spellingbeesand talentshows, becauseAunt Dolly satinthefrontrowwearingherhat.
Her surefire faith that Gods angels are here to help us overcome lifes stumbling blocks enabled us kids to do things wethoughtwereimpossible.
Even now at times, when my world is turned upside down, I think ofAuntDollyand remember thatmychildhood beliefsstill hold true. My family loves me. The sun will come up tomorrow. And for one unforgettable Christmas pageant, I had a wonderful voice.
当我还是小孩子时,我曾对三件事情笃信不疑:我的家人都爱我,太阳每天早上都会升起,我的嗓音很美妙。
对最后一点我尤其有把握,因为每当全家一起唱歌时,我都会扯着嗓门大喊,从来没有人阻止过我。所以当我的二年级老师凯瑟琳嬷嬷宣布她要为在圣诞节当天举行的一场演唱会挑选歌手时,我别提有多高兴了。她说,要根据能力挑选歌手。
轮到我了,嬷嬷开始弹琴,我则以一个七岁女孩儿所能展示的最丰富的感情开始演唱。可没唱几句就被嬷嬷打断了:“谢谢你,杰奎琳,下一位。”当我回到座位上时,看到有些同学在窃笑。难道我做错什么事了吗?
独唱的名额全部招满了。当其他同学开始熟悉音乐时,嬷嬷把我叫到她的桌前,温和地看着我。
“杰奎琳,你听说过‘音盲这个词吗?”我摇了摇头。
“就是说你唱出来的声音与乐曲不一样。”她拍拍我的手说,“这没什么值得害羞的,亲爱的,你仍然可以参加合唱队。在演唱时,你做出发音的口型就可以了,但不要发声。你明白我的意思吗?”
我明白。我是如此羞愧,以至于放学后我没有回家,而是直接坐公共汽车来到多莉姨妈家。在我眼里,没有什么事情能够难得倒她。
在那个大多数女性都要嫁人的年代里,她勇敢地选择独身生活。她还参加过狩猎远征队,和艾森豪威尔总统握过手,吻过克拉克·盖博(好莱坞著名男影星)的脸,并打算环游世界。我想她比任何人都能理解我的世界是如何被这个可怕的发现搞得翻了天。
多莉姨妈给我端来饼干和牛奶。“我该怎么办?”我抽泣着说,“如果我不能唱歌,上帝会以为我不爱他的。”
多莉姨妈的手指在桌上敲着,眉头皱在一起,最后她眼睛一亮:“有办法了!我将帽子戴上!”
她的帽子?它能帮我解决“音盲”这个问题吗?她那棕色的眼睛盯着我,声音忽然降了下来:“杰奎琳,我将透露一点儿天使的秘密,但首先你得发誓不会告诉任何人。”
“我发誓。”我低声说。
多莉姨妈抓着我的手说:“当我在罗马的圣彼得教堂祈祷时,我曾听到旁边座位上的一段对话。似乎其他音盲,也担心上帝听不到他们的歌声。那里的牧师悄悄告诉他们,一小块铝箔就可以解决这个问题。”
“我不明白。”
“你在嘴里默默地念出歌词,它们会通过铝箔反射,天使就能捕捉到这些歌词,把它们放到特制的袋子里,然后送给上帝。”
“那我把铝箔藏在哪儿呢?”
“藏在我的帽子里。”多莉姨妈说,“我会坐在演唱会的前排。不要对凯瑟琳嬷嬷和你的父母泄漏一个字。”
圣诞节那天,全家都去观看我的表演。我紧紧盯着多莉姨妈的帽子,根本不在乎在场的人能否听到我的声音,我沉默的歌声是唱给上帝一个人听的。演出非常成功,多莉姨妈夸我的表演具有“奥斯卡水准”。
四年前多莉姨妈去世了,享年90岁。当我们晚辈聚在一起,追忆她时,我们吃惊地发现,她的“天使帽子”曾帮过我们许多人。
一个口吃的孩子盯着她的帽子,完成了一次可怕的演讲。就连我们当中最胆小的那个也参加了学校的戏剧演出、拼写比赛和达人秀,就因为多莉姨妈戴着帽子坐在前排。
她让我们相信天使就在我们身边帮我们战胜生活中的困难,让我们完成了许多自以为不可能完成的任务。
即使到了现在,当我在生活中遇到挫折时,我还会想起多莉姨妈。我童年时的信仰仍然没有改变:我的家人都爱我;太阳每天早上都会升起;在那个难忘的圣诞节表演中,我拥有美妙的声音。endprint