Where Are The Fathers?

By+Wang+hairong

Xinxin， a 12-year-old student from Beijing， enjoyed his winter vacation with his father in Singapore. During their visit， he even had the chance to explore some of Singapores sights by himself while his father was busy with other things.

Xinxins first adventure alone in Singapore was at a water park near their hotel. He enjoyed swimming and diving into the water by himself， and then returned to the hotel before a time in the evening that was set by his father.

The boy also made a trip to Universal Studios Singapore without a guardian. He had already been to the park with his father two times during the trip. Xinxin volunteered to make his third trip by himself. His father gave him some pocket money to buy lunch， and then Xinxin rode the shuttle from their hotel to the studios. He spent a whole day there and had a fantastic time.

In an interview with Beijing Evening News， Xinxins father said that since he was too busy to spend all his time with his son， he decided to give him the opportunity to develop a sense of independence. Had Xinxins mother been there， she would not have let Xinxin out of her sight， the father commented.

Although they experienced a few difficulties during their trip， such as missing breakfast at the hotel， forgetting to bring extra clothes and getting lost for while， Xinxin enjoyed his holiday.

“I used to travel with my mother， who didnt allow me to do anything risky or touch anything dirty. I couldnt enjoy myself freely，” Xinxin said. This winter， since his mother was too busy， he could finally fulfill his wish to travel with his father.

Xinxin and his father made their Singapore trip after watching the popular reality TV show Where Are We Going， Dad？， which was premiered on Hunan Satellite TV on October 18， 2013 and aired every Friday in the following three months. The 12-episode show depicts the adventures of five celebrity fathers and their children as they traveled together.

The popular show has inspired many fathers to travel with their children during this winter vacation. Several travel agencies have launched father-child tours， which are very popular.

The show has also sparked discussions about the roles and involvement of fathers in the raising of their children.

Popular program

Where Are We Going， Dad？ has been a hit nationwide. According to statistics released by China Central Television on December 18， 2013， the audiences tuning in for the 10th episode of its first season was the second highest among all TV programs aired last year.endprint

The five father-child pairs featured in the show are the Olympic champion diver Tian Liang and his 5-year-old daughter Tian Yucheng（Cindy）， actor Guo Tao and his 6-year-old son Guo Zirui （Shitou）， director Wang Yuelun and his 4-year-old daughter Wang Shiling （Angela）， model Zhang Liang and his 6-year-old son Zhang Yuexuan （Tiantian）， as well as the Taiwanese singer， actor and professional race car driver Jimmy Lin Chih-ying and his 4-year-old son Kimi.

Together， they traveled to six countryside locations across China， including villages in Beijing， southwestern Yunnan Province， eastern Shandong Province， central Hunan Province and northeastern Heilongjiang Province， and a desert in northwestern Ningxia Hui Autonomous Region.

During their time on the show， the fathers were assigned a range of tasks， such as cooking， digging for lotus roots， fishing and selling groceries， while their children were also required to find cooking ingredients and help their fathers selling groceries. The fathers found taking care of their children without help from their wives challenging.

In the show， the fathers each exhibited their own unique personalities and parenting styles. Lin impressed the audience with how he communicated with his son Kimi. For instance， when talking to his son， he often squatted down to meet the boy at eye level， and he managed to keep his voice upbeat even in frustrating situations.

The first two episodes were filmed at Lingshui Village， a rural suburb of Beijing. After arriving at the village， the children drew lots to get a house for his or her family to stay in. The houses varied in their condition， some were old and shabby while others were relatively modern.

Kimi ended up drawing the “spider” house， which nobody wanted as it appeared rickety and had a big dead spider on the bed. Lin did not complain and told his son Kimi that the room was not that bad， and the spider was actually a toy that had been prepared for him. Kimi believed in his father and went on to have fun playing with the dead bug.

Compared with Lin， Tians conversation with his daughter Cindy during that journey was less successful. Cindy didnt like the house that she and her dad got. She cried on and on， begging to go back home. Tian became stern and impatient， and could not find an effective way to calm her down.

While on the show， Guo taught his son Shitou to be brave and responsible. In Lingshui， Shitou and Kimi were assigned to look for a pot that had been hidden in the village according to clues. Kimi was reluctant to go， so Guo told his son to go by himself. Shitou ran through the village and eventually found the pot.endprint

One evening， the children were asked to sing a song that their fathers were supposed to teach them during the day， Shitou refused to sing and ran away from the crowd. Guo pulled his son aside， telling him that it was ok for him to say he did not like to sing the song， but not acceptable for him to shun others.

Zhang treated his son Tiantian like a friend. Zhang often solicited his sons opinions. After entering their house in Lingshui， he asked his son， “Lets see whether we can find something interesting in the yard， is that alright？” Then at lunch， he asked his son， “Shall I make a sandwich with this for you？” and “Can you take a few bites？” Tiantian also trusted his father and was proud of him.

Wang seemed to be a careless father. While having lunch in Lingshui， his daughter told him

that there was no chair to sit on for lunch and he replied that she could eat while standing. A moment later， he spontaneously sat down on the bed and began eating， unaware that he could also let his daughter sit on the bed. In later episodes， Wang appeared clumsy when preparing meals for his daughter and combing her hair. Luckily， his daughter was not picky and enjoyed being with her father no matter what he did for her.

The shows popularity was so immense that it spawned a movie spin-off and a book with the same name. The movie was premiered on January 31， just in time for the Chinese Lunar New Year. It was a massive success. As of February 11， it had grossed more than 600 million yuan （$99 million） in box office sales， and had the highest grossing first week of a 2D Chinese movie in the holidays.

Absentees

Traditionally， a Chinese fathers primary duty is to make money and support his family financially， while raising children is a mothers responsibility. In todays fast-paced and modern society， many Chinese fathers have little time to spend with their children.

According to a survey conducted by a kindergarten in Zhengzhou， capital of central Chinas Henan Province， only about 30 percent of fathers played an active role in educating their children， such as reading stories to them. The survey also showed that when children encountered difficulties， 69 percent would seek help from their mothers， whereas only 30 percent would turn to their fathers for advice.

The show Where Are We Going， Dad？ has gained its popularity not only from its touching scenes but also because it addresses the question of how to be a good father， said writer Bi Shumin.endprint

Sun Yunxiao， Deputy Director of the Beijingbased China Youth and Children Research Center， said， “The show has attracted so much attention because the absence of fathers in childrens lives is a very real and chronic problem in China. For children， the absence of their fathers can make them feel less secure， and they could become more fragile and easily frustrated.”

According to Sun， had the title of the show been changed to Where Are We Going， Mom？， it would not be so appealing.

Sun Hongyan， a division director at the China Youth and Children Research Center， said that researches show that young children who often play with their fathers tend to be both more curious and more proactive， and also have better gross motor skills， which involve larger limb movements such as running and jumping， as well as better fine motor skills， which involve the use of the hands to do more delicate tasks such as writing.

“These positive effects come as a result of fathers being more likely to engage their children in more adventurous and physical activities， whereas mothers usually like quiet and gentle games，” Sun Hongyan said.

Fathers also act as important role models for their children. Sons that lack opportunities to learn from their fathers often tend to be more feminine， while daughters can learn to be more open and independent by spending time with their fathers， Song Hongyan added. She said that fathers cannot only influence their childrens personality， but also their intellectual capacity.

A study on high school students in China， Japan， South Korea and the United States that was conducted by the China Youth and Children Research Center in cooperation with foreign research institutes revealed that high school students in China would rather talk about their troubles with their peers online rather than with their fathers. The study showed that high school students in the other three countries put their fathers before online companions.

Because they have such natural advantage when it comes to shaping their childrens personality and behavior， Chinese fathers should invest more of their time and love in their children and strive to be role models for them， Sun Yunxiao commented.endprint