说声谢谢您

A year ago， at a get-together of a dozen girlfriends from college， I saw my old friend， Therese Gibson. When I told her I was writing a book called Happy for No Reason， which focuses on the 21 core habits of unconditionally happy people， she told me about the daily gratitude ritual she practices with her 95-year-old father， Charlie， that keeps them smiling and feeling good.

Therese moved in with Charlie， whos still sharp as a tack， during a bad time in both their lives. Charlies wife had just died， Therese was at the tail end of a painful divorce， and money was tight. They were as glum as any two people could be. But both had heard that gratitude was a great way to feel better， so they decided to sit together for a few minutes each morning before Therese headed off to work and tell each other three things they were grateful for in their lives.

“It was slow going in the beginning，” Therese told me. “The first time we did it， I had a hard time thinking of even one thing I was grateful for.” Finally， she looked around the room and saw a vase she liked. She told Charlie， “Im grateful for how pretty that vase is.” It sounded silly， but it was the best she could do. Charlie wasnt any better at it， often waiting for Therese to give him a clue about what to say. But she and Charlie both noticed that even a thank-you for something superficial had a good effect.

Soon， their decision to focus on what was right in their lives began to pay off. Both Therese and Charlie started to feel happier， and to notice that more and more things were going their way. Even their money situation improved. Three thank-yous became five， then ten， and soon they had to stop listing the good things in their lives long before they ran out of things to say or Therese would be late for work.

One day， they were feeling so light and happy after finishing their lists that Charlie， whod always liked the musical Oklahoma， started singing “Oh， What a Beautiful Morning.” Therese joined in. It was the perfect expression of how being grateful made them feel. They added this song to their ritual and now “saying their thank-yous” and singing together has become one of the highlights of their day.

Ive experienced myself just how powerful gratitude is. Once， after going through a heartbreak， a friend told me to write down five things I was grateful for each night before I went to bed for three weeks straight. I knew that psychologists say it takes 21 days to change a habit， so I agreed. At first I struggled to come up with anything， but I continued doing it every night and over time the pain in my heart eased.

Try doing the gratitude exercise yourself. Every night before you go to sleep， list five things that youre grateful for that day， and notice how you feel when you wake up the next morning. A grateful heart can send your happiness level soaring.

一年前，在十二位女大学生举行的一次聚会上，我看到了我的老朋友，特里萨·吉布森。我告诉她我正在写一本叫《幸福不需要理由》的书，这本书瞄准了绝对幸福人群的21个核心习惯，她向我讲述了她与自己95岁的父亲查理一起做的感恩仪式，它使他们微笑并感觉良好。

在他们俩生活的艰难时刻，特里萨正处于与查理一起生活，他至今依然思维敏捷。查理的妻子刚刚去世，而特里萨正处于痛苦的离婚快要结案的时期，当时经济拮据。他们非常忧郁。但他们二人都听说感恩是使自我感觉更好的好法子，因此他们决定每天早上在特里萨离家上班之前抽出几分钟坐在一起，并相互告诉对方在他们生活中值得感激的三件事情。

“起初这个事情进行得非常缓慢，”特里萨对我说。“起初我们这样做时半天都想不出一件为之而感激的事。”终于她环顾房间，看到了她喜欢的一个花瓶。她对查理说，“这个花瓶太美丽了，我很感激。”这听起来有点傻里傻气，但这是她能够感激的最好借口。查理对此也高明不了多少，经常等待特里萨给他一个线索该说什么。但她和查理两个人都注意到，即使说一声“谢谢您”都会在表面上产生良好的效果。

不久他们感到将话题重点放在他们生活中哪些是对的事情上并开始有所回报。特里萨与查理开始感到更加幸福，并开始留心越来越多值得感激的事情出现在他们的生活中。甚至他们的经济状况也开始得到好转。三个“谢谢您”变成了五个，然后十个，他们不得不及早停止将他们生活中值得感激的事情列出，否则特里萨上班就要迟到了。

一天，在完成列举值得感激的事情后他们感到非常轻松愉快，总是喜欢乐曲《俄克拉何马》的查理开始唱起了“哦，多么美好的早晨。”特里萨也一起唱起来。这是对感恩使他们产生何种感受的最好表现。他们将这首歌曲加入到了他们的感恩仪式中，如今“说声谢谢您”和一起唱歌已经成为他们一天生活中的亮点之一。

我也亲自经历过感恩的力量到底如何强大。从前，在经历过一个伤心的事情后，一位朋友告诉我在三周时间内每天晚上在我睡觉前写下五件值得感激的事情。我知道心理学家说要改变一个习惯需要21天的时间，于是我同意了。最初我努力去想任何值得感激的事情，但我坚持每天晚上这样做，随着时间的过去我心中的伤痛减轻了许多。

自己试着做一些感恩尝试吧。每天晚上在你睡觉前，列举出你今天值得感激的五件事情，然后在次日早上醒来后体会一下自己的感觉。一份感激之心能够使你的幸福感不断高涨。