“整蛊”圣诞祝福

佘壮

圣诞节是幸福的日子，因为我们可以收获满满的祝福。在严寒的冬天，在圣诞节来临之际，当你掏出手机，发现自己竟然幸运地收到下面这些“另类”的祝福，你是否会觉得这个冬天不再那么寒冷了？

In Spring Festival， chinese eat dumplings with chopsticks， on the Mid-Autumn Day， one eats moon cake with his hands， during Christmas ，people use a knife and fork to eat roast goose. Now， Christmas is coming， you had better hide it， lest cutlery fell on the body.

春節人们用筷子吃饺子，中秋节人们用手吃月饼，圣诞节人们用刀叉吃烧鹅。现在，圣诞节快到了，你还是躲一下吧，免得刀叉落到身上。

If one night a big fat man jumps in at your window， grabs you and puts you in a sack。Dont worry ，I told Santa I wanted you for christmas.

如果某天晚上一个胖子跳进你的窗户，抓起你往麻袋里塞，别担心。那是我告诉圣诞老人，我要你做我的圣诞礼物。

Christmas is almost upon us again， just remember to put your socks in bed ， I have made my mind to let Santa Claus send you one cock and one hen， When the rooster says： “ eggs！ Lay eggs！ ” the hen will say ：“be happy！ be happy！” I wish you have a happy christmas！

圣诞节到了，记得在床头放袜子，我决定让圣诞老人送你一只公鸡和一只母鸡，因为公鸡会说：“生蛋！生蛋！”，母鸡会说：“快了！快了！”祝你圣诞节快乐！

Christmas Eve， it was raining and damp， so was your mood. you just looked blankly at the cold sky out of the window， and kept watching. I came to you and said gently： “My little dog， please come in， Santa Claus will not send the bones to you this time.”

平安夜，下着雨，湿湿的，心情也如此潮湿……你就这样呆呆地望着阴冷的窗外，痴痴地守望着。我走过来轻轻地对你说：“旺财，进去吧，圣诞老人不会送骨头来了。”

Your happiness， I will construct； you confused， I will make up for you； your covet， I will satisfy it； your willful， I will yield； And its my duty to love you， because I am right to be a pig raiser.

你的幸福，我来建筑；你的糊涂，我来弥补；你的贪图，我来满足；你的任性，我来让步；爱护你，非我莫属，谁让我是养猪专业户。

To save paper， you need not sent me Christmas cards this day， please write your message directly on the banknotes as large as possible.

为节约用纸，今天就不用送我圣诞贺卡了，请把祝词直接写在尽可能大的纸币上就行了！

Not only will I miss you on a day like this， but I can harass you fair and square during this day， and tell you： “Merry Chismas！”

不只这样的日子才会想起你，而是这样的日子才能正大光明地骚扰你，告诉你：“圣诞要快乐！”

I asked the air for the postman，to bundle up my deep thoughts， to print my sincerity on the postmark. and to express it with a constant temperature of 37 degrees. And the recipient is you， wish you a happy Christmas！

我托空气为邮差，把我深深的思念装订成包裹，印上真心为邮戳，37°恒温快递，收件人是你，祝你圣诞快乐！