Ｔｈｅ Ｍａｒｒｉａｇｅ ｏｆ Ｃｈｉｎｅｓｅ Ｈｕｓｂａｎｄ ａｎｄ Ａｍｅｒｉｃａｎ Ｗｉｆｅ

Ｄｉｎｇ　Ｙｕｅｚｈｏｎｇ

Cai Xiaohua was a security guard when he dated Tiffany. For many people who know Cai, their romance and marriage are something out of books.

Around lunch time on August 5th, 2007, Cai Xiaohua was on duty as a security guard at the gate of a Chinese-English school in Guangzhou. Tiffany came to the school with a school clerk. When Tiffany was introduced to Cai, they gazed at each other and smiled. So Cai Xiaohua learned that the American collage graduate would be teaching English at the school. It was his duty to know every faculty member.

Tiffany came to see Cai half a month later when Cai was working at his duty chart marking the arrivals and departures of faculty cars. Cai stood up hurriedly when seeing the girl approaching and said, “Welcome to inspect my work, Teacher Ti,” a deferential title he improvised on the spot. Tiffany was tickled by the title. They laughed about it. They began to chat through gestures and some English and Chinese words.

Gradually they invented a drawing system to help communicate more smoothly. They also began to exchange language tips so that they could talk with ease. One day, Tiffany came and gestured to her head. Cai was first puzzled and then figured out that Tiffany had a headache because of a severe cold. So he took the young teacher to hospital. He stayed with Tiffany when she was receiving intravenous injection, letting the girl holding his hand. Back to the school, Cai prepared a bowl of congee and got some pickled vegetable, presumably the best food for a patient afflicted with cold. Tiffany enjoyed the congee and sliced pickled mustard tuber. When she tried to give Cai a 100-yuan banknote for the service he provided, Cai waved off the cash, saying “we Chinese people are warm-hearted and we dont charge money for our warm-heartedness. Moreover, you are another Doctor Bethune (a Canadian surgeon famed in China who helped Chinese during World War II) though you are from America. How can I receive money from you?”

After this, the two became closer. And they chatted more easily as they were picking up words and phrases fast. Cai was willing to help Tiffany because he thought we Chinese should help her since she was here helping Chinese learn the language. But Tiffany mistook Cai. One day, she asked Cai directly, “Are you in love with me? Why do you smile at me every time you see me and why do you help me free of charge?” Cai Xiaohua was bewildered by the question at first. Then he explained, “Teacher Ti, I am just a farmer doing a temporary job here. Even though I am not married, I am not worthy of your love.” He explained that a farmers life in China is a totally different picture from that in America where a few farmers can work a large farm with a full range of machines. A Chinese farmer, with little land to take care of, goes away in off season to find odd jobs in cities for cash to make ends meet.

Cai told Tiffany his story. The 35-year-old security guard is from a village in rural Henan Province in central China. He dropped out of school at 15 to support his younger sisters education. He got married in February, 1999 and had a child. After the couple divorced peacefully after the Spring Festival in 2007, the ex-wife went with the child in her custody to Yunnan Province and Cai came to Guangdong in June, 2007. Cai said earnestly that he was just a security guard and that he had no money and no school education and that he had had a failed marriage and a child. He wondered aloud if he failed to support a Chinese wife, how could he support a foreign wife?

Tiffany was puzzled by the question. “Why should I need you to support me?” She explained that she found his smile charming and thought he was very warm-hearted and polite, a man worthy of her lifelong love.She liked Chinese people.

It turned out that Tiffanys parents come from very different social strata, her father works as an electrician and her mother a professor of a university in New Jersey. Their marriage is happy.

But Cai Xiaohua hesitated. He dared not commit himself to such a relationship. Just at this time, his ex-wife called from Yunnan, saying that the kid was seriously ill, and wanted Cai to visit the child. Tiffany saw him off at the railway station and gave him fruit and gifts to the ex-wife and child.

Cai came back 19 days later and was met at the station by Tiffany. To his surprise, Cai was given 19 love letters written by Tiffany during his 19-day absence. Cai was moved by the letters and decided to accept Tiffanys love.

Very soon Cai met Tiffanys parents on video phone through Internet. Cai replied a few questions in English he could manage and found himself blessed by Tiffanys parents. Tiffany explained that in the eye of Chinese, her parents marriage was not well matched in terms of social and economic status but they are happy. So when their daughter was trying to clone such a marriage, they didnt have an excuse to object.

But the school objected. Tiffany was advised to break the relationship or resign. Cai resigned since the school interfered. Tiffany thought the school had no grounds to interfere and resigned too.

They went back to Cais rural home on June 10, 2008. More than 1,000 villagers came to see the lucky fellow young man and his American girl. Cai Xiaohuas father was very happy. He had brought his son and daughter up single-handedly after his wife died young. He was devastated when his sons divorce deprived him of the opportunity of seeing his grandson around. He had worried whether his son would have an opportunity to marry again. Now the fathers ecstasy knew no bounds, giving away sweets around village to share his sons happiness with everyone else.

The wedding took place on July 6th, 2008. More than ten banquet tables were set for the relatives and friends. The couple drank wine with everyone at the wedding banquet.

More people heard about the romance of Cai and Tiffany. A collage in Zhengzhou, the capital of Henan Province, hired Tiffany to teach spoken English at the college. Cai went with her. As Cai is able to speak mandarin, he found a job of teaching a couple of Australians to speak Chinese. The job paid well.

In the early November, 2008, Tiffany came back to the village to take a break. The expected date of childbirth is the spring of 2009. □