Ｈｕｍｏｕｒ ａｎｄ Ｊｏｋｅｓ

崔增印

Ill Change My Name

At the age of 16, Edely decided to leave home and join a theater company. His father was appalled.

“A son of mine on the stage? Its a disgrace!” he wailed. “What if the neighbors find out?”

“Ill change my name,” the comic-to-be volunteered.

“Change your name!” his father screamed. “What if youre a success? How will the neighbors know its my son?”

我会改个名字

埃迪十六岁了，他决定离开家去参加一个剧团。他的爸爸气坏了。

“让我的儿子上舞台演戏？真丢脸！”他大叫道，“邻居们知道了怎么想？”

“我会改一个名字。”这位未来的滑稽演员主动提出。

“改名字！”他爸爸喊叫着，“那如果你出了名怎么办？怎么让邻居们知道你就是我的儿子呢？”

Thinking Back

We were gathered together, all ten of us, for our widowed mothers 80th birthday. The conversation was of early struggles, walking to work and saving up in clothing clubs, when my elder sister said, “Of course, we were bound to be poor because we were such a big family. Mom, why did you have so many children?”

Mother looked around at us all and said, “Well, where did you want me to stop?”

我们总共十个人，聚在一起祝贺已成为寡妇的妈妈的八十岁生日。谈的话题是我们家早年的艰辛，走着去上班，在“新衣会”里存钱准备买衣裳。这时我姐姐说：“当然，我们的生活没法子不艰难，因为我们家孩子太多了。妈妈，您为什么要生这么多的孩子呢？”

妈妈看了我们一圈说：“那么，你想让我在哪儿停住呢？”

She Ate All My Bait

The young boy protested vigorously when his mother asked him to take his little sister along fishing. “The last time she came,” he objected, “I didnt catch a single fish.”

“Ill talk to her,” his mother said, “and I promise this time she wont make any noise.”

“It wasnt the noise, Mom,” the boy replied. “She ate all my bait.”

她吃掉了所有的诱饵

当妈妈提出让小男孩带着妹妹一起去钓鱼时，他坚决反对。“上次她跟着我，”他反对说，“我连一条鱼都没能钓上。”

“我会告诉她，”妈妈说，“我保证这次她不再发出响声了。”

“妈妈，不是响声，”男孩回答，“是她把所有的诱饵都吃了。”

An Abstract Noun

Teacher: Whats an abstract noun, Jane?

Jane: I dont know, madam

Teacher: What, you dont know! Well. Its the name of a thing

which you can think of but cannot touch. Now, give me

an example.

Jane: A red-hot poker, madam.

抽象名词

老师：珍妮，什么叫抽象名词？

珍妮：我不知道，老师。

老师：什么，你不知道！抽象名

词就是能想象到但是不能

摸到的东西的名称。好，给

我举一个例子。

珍妮：一把烧得通红的拨火棍，老

师。

The Key to Success

One day a father was teaching his son and said, “The keys to your success are keeping your word and cleverness. Once you give somebody a promise, you must carry it out on matter what will happen. This is called ‘keeping ones words. ”

“What is cleverness?” asked his son.

“Cleverness is that youll never make such a promise,” the father answered.

成功的关键

一天，父亲教育儿子说：“一个人成功的关键就是严守诺言和足够聪明。一旦你给了别人承诺，无论发生什么事，你都得实现它，这个就叫‘守诺言。”

儿子问：“那么什么是聪明呢？”

父亲回答：“聪明就是任何时候都别做这样的承诺。”